Why Are Affairs Happening So Often?

Cheating seems to be popular in our society. Maybe I lived a sheltered life, but I don’t remember hearing about as many husbands having affairs fifteen or even ten years ago as I do now. What is going on?

Part of me feels that affairs have always been common, but they are just more exposed now due to technology. For example, you can now track everything from a keystroke to a cell phone call. Cheaters are getting caught left and right because of technology.

I also feel like our society is changing to the point where people think that infidelity isn’t a big deal. I can’t help but wonder then where our morals, values, and integrity have gone. Really, have things gotten to the point where an affair doesn’t really bother the person cheating until they are caught?

Affairs are also happening more because there are more people willing to participate as the other women. The truth is, cheaters do not have to try very hard to find someone willing to participate.

I am not sure why so many people (men and women cheat) are cheating, but one thing is clear: it’s really sad that this is happening and devastating so many families. I get emails from women and men all over the world, often very hurt by a cheating spouse. This is a trend that exposes the lack of open conversation within a marriage that is necessary for a healthy relationship.

8 thoughts on “Why Are Affairs Happening So Often?”

  1. You’re so right, the internet, phones etc make it a lot easier for someone to cheat, in the past it would happen if they went out with friends etc whereas nowadays they don’t have to leave the house to cheat, i’ve realised that my husband is a lying cheat and because of what’s happened i now wonder how many times he’s cheated in the 23 years we’ve been married, it’s just that he got caught this time.

    1. Amy, you’re right, it’s almost like internal cheating (cheating in the home on the internet). I’m afraid that it’s going to get worse as I constantly see on TV and movies cheating and lying like it’s ok. There’s really no way to tell if your husband has cheated in the past, but at least you know the truth now. Take Care, thanks for your comment.

  2. I live in South Florida and we have a HUGE hispanic population. I am of course not saying this is true of all hispanic women, but as Matria Shiver learned….they are trained in seduction, are competitive for married (and single) american men, and do not seem to have a moral compass for anything other than their advancement socially & financially, and their own pleasure and ego satisfaction. I can’t tell you of the many broken homes with children, or destroyed trusts that will affect relationships forever due to this low morality segment of our population. I warned my husband but became a statistic of them anyway. I have much much more going for me than this woman he cheated with, and he (my husband)chose me, but I am still amazed at how a man can fly off track with this kind of attention. Many times, it seems they are not even interested in the man, they just wanted the attention, and to prove they could ruin someone else’s long term relationship. Beware ladies, they are headed to YOUR town and want your man. Down here we even have young nice looking hispanic women hooking up with much older men for green cards, citizenship, and any other agenda you can imagine.

    1. Hello Ortha,

      I personally feel that cheating husbands crosses all races and classes (happens to the rich and the poor). Every race and every class across the world has been impacted by this, even married Hispanic women get cheated on. No race or financial status is better or worse in this situation, we all feel it. I am glad you know that you have much more going for you and I wish you the best in your recovery.

  3. Well…I had suspected for years and just found out that my husband of 32years has been cheating for the last 30 years …from 1 whore to the next…for a total of 6…and there are probably more that he has not revealed…and he wants me to stay in the marriage…how insane… are these guys raised with no values..no morals..I asked if he believed in an monogamous marriage…and unbelievably he said he did…we have children..and they are boys…how do I hope they do not follow in their fathers path…

    1. Hello Ella,
      Welcome to the site. I have to say I am impressed, I know you are in a ton of pain right now, and through all of your pain, you still have that motherly, loving heart that asks how do I teach my boys not to do this to other women. Two things, first, they are going to see how this impacts the family in a big way, so they are going to learn through example. Second, make sure your boys know that there will come a time where things get rough in the marriage, and tell them it’s ok to open up to your wife, it’s ok to go to counseling/therapy, and I hate to say it, but tell them if they are not happy, don’t cheat, get a divorce. I would of MUCH rather gone through the pain of a divorce than to go through the emotional traumatic roller coaster of finding out my husband cheated.

      Now back to you. 90% of men that cheat want to stay in the marriage, and many times I personally feel it is for reasons outside of you (to prevent embarrassment, to prevent the shame from family finding out). Men pride themselves on ‘having a solid family structure’ and for people to find out, it breaks that. You have a long road ahead, some days will be very tough, through it all remember that he choose to cheat, and him cheating for as long as he did has NO reflection on you as a person. Take Care, I wish you the best in your personal recovery.

  4. Once a cheater always a cheater like my mom says that does not change.if you are faithful to yourself you will know it’s not cool. Women should expect nothing less than loyalty and love …your children are smart they see and feel everything if your with a cheater leave and you will feel beautiful to yourself there is nothing like love and to expect the best

    1. Thanks Sean,
      My favorite part of your comment was to be ‘faithful to yourself’. That is a powerful concept and one that I need to remind myself to do everyday. I strongly believe that if you are faithful to yourself, everything else works itself out. Unfortunately many women lose faith in themselves and their judgement during the affair, but if they focus on regaining that faith, it ca be a wonderful thing. Take Care.

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