I am fortunate enough to have TiVo (which allows you to record shows), and I just got around to watching the premier of Trauma, which comes on Monday nights. This particular episode had a character that had an affair. One scene involved his wife asking him why he was coming home late. He told her it was because of work, and she asked to see his phone to verify this.
This scene really got to me. It made me wonder, “Does the questioning ever end after your mate has an affair?” I feel a lot like that wife. The minute my husband goes somewhere and doesn’t answer his phone, I get a bad feeling in stomach, because I think he must be cheating again.
Does that bad feeling ever go away? If you get a divorce and find someone new, do you still get that pain? What makes matters even worse is that later on in the show, the husband flirts with a girl. Grr! They’re basically sending a message that once a man is a cheater, he’s always a cheater! Is there no hope?! Or am I just being way too sensitive because this experience hit really close to home for me?
Infidelity really messes you up. My entire perspective on life is different now, and I am not sure if the “new me” is a good thing or not (Yikes!). On the one hand, I am less naïve. On the other hand, I am more into me now. On the one hand, I am more efficient; on the other hand, I am a little angrier. I keep telling myself the reason this affair happened is for me to be a better person and to help others in a similar situation not feel so alone.