My marriage is on life support. There is no sex, and we only communicate for the sake of our kids. I have told him that our marriage is over because of his affair and because I can’t get over his behavior, and that it’s okay for me to feel that way. Of course he wants to get back together, but I still think he only wants this in order to save face in front on family and friends.
A colleague recently told me that I’d drive my husband away if I stopped having sex with him. Mentally, I feel like my body will not let me relax and have sex, knowing he committed adultery. I want to relax, but I can’t. And the entire process of trying to rekindle sex after cheating has caused me great stress. The level of intimacy is shattered, and I am tired of feeling like I don’t measure up. I am not going have sex with my husband anymore, it is too stressful. Deep down, I know I am making a decision to go towards divorce, because my cheating spouse is not going to wait until I get myself together. I just need some time to sort out all of the thoughts in my head; sometimes I feel I am going crazy. I am less stressed because I do not have to think about the thoughts of inadequacy in my head before, during, and after sex. I need some time to work on me and reflect on why I am going this experience. Time to take a step back and hopefully after the process is done, I will be a better person and a better partner.