Sleep With A Married Man and Get Sued, Coming To A State Near You

I was reading a story today about an American Idol star named Fantasia who could potentially be sued for having an affair. North Carolina is one of seven states where you can sue the actual home wrecker for ruining your marriage. This is very interesting.

On the one hand, I personally feel that the cheating husband should bear the brunt of responsibility unless both participants are married, which sometimes happens. At the same time, women who knowingly and blatantly pursue married man need to be held accountable for their actions. Although I don’t think people will stop having affairs if they can be sued for doing so, some women might at least think twice before they sleep with a married man.

On the other hand, this may just cause both parties that are cheating to get sneaker. What do you think?

61 thoughts on “Sleep With A Married Man and Get Sued, Coming To A State Near You”

  1. Give me a break. this is so stupid. the women men have affairs with are often the ones who are oppressed and victimized. Do you think abused women have any idea if the man is really married or single? do you think married men tell the other women that he’s happily married?
    there are enough excuses to go around but if woman has a sex with man knowing he is married, she can be sued. But if a man has sex with a woman who is oppressed financially, physically and emotionally, and did so anyway, he should be locked up in Jail.
    the problem is, No one is going after these men No one.
    And the selfish wives who think its okey for some women to be violated and only worry about their “perfect marriage” deserve to have their lives ruined.
    it’s human dignity and lives that are far more important than anything else.

  2. I don’t think that the women that men have affairs with are oppressed and victimized. They can simply lose the number, and that’s it. When you’re married, you’re so connected to your husband you can’t just lose the number, so I really don’t feel like the ‘other woman’ is oppressed. Now I do believe that men will lie about being married, but 9 times out of 10, once the woman finds out that he is married, they still continue to cheat. I do agree with you that the man should be held accountable above all for his actions. When lawsuits like this happen, we are talking about people with money, and when people sue over these things, it is more about exposing the other woman and the humiliation than it is the actual lawsuit.

  3. I don’t subscribe to the idea that a woman goes into an affair because she is oppressed. In fact both. As long as you are married, whether you are a woman or a man, going about having sex with anyone is a sign of your irresponsibility. Any other reason given is just a cheap excuse. Heck, even killers have excuses too!.
    Marriage relationships should be beautiful, trusting and mutually beneficial. Problems arise when trust is killed by a partner, thereby giving way to anger, frustration and animosity. But patience and understanding always win at last

  4. Nicely stated. Just to add, I think any act of cheating when you’re married is a total act of selfishness (along with being irresponsible).


  6. Glad to hear it. “Love-ly” from Washington state, flew across the country to sleep with *my husband* knowing he was a married man with a family. In the bed I purchased while I was out of town. This piece of human waste had been emailing and texting my husband for months, having met him on an adult website. She sleeps with other married men as well and carries STD. The piece of work had the audacity to call the police on me when I sent her an email telling her what I thought of her…*she* was complaining about “boundaries” !! I’ve got a loooooong memory and Karma wont be nice.
    I’m all for legal justice against these miserable excuses for human beings.

  7. This is exactly who the law is for, women who knowingly sleep with married men. I am not sure if they think it’s cute or some type of game, but it’s not cool. And to top it off with an STD – wonderful. But I know the STD thing happens all the time. Again, as I have stated before, I feel that the men are ultimately hold the majority of the accountability, but women who knowingly pursue married men should be accountable in some way, shape or form.

  8. This is exactly who the law is for, women who knowingly sleep with married men. I am not sure if they think it’s cute or some type of game, but it’s not cool. And to top it off with an STD – wonderful. But I know the STD thing happens all the time. Women who knowing pursue married men should be accountable in some way, shape or form, althougth the man holds most of the blame for responding to these women.

  9. I think it’s archaic to suggest the “other woman” is oppressed. Most affairs today are with co-workers, not some naive little victim. It used to be illegal to commit adultery in most States, I believe women leaving a marriage due to adultery should receive compensation. As far as the other woman being sued, that should be based on the circumstances. I wish I had listened to my friends and gotten a No-Contact Order on her and sued her for mental distress and harassment. The large majority of these women know exactly what is going on and are stupid enough to think that they will be the one he is faithful to. good luck with that!

  10. I agree with this rule, as I may be the one to be suing. I live in NC and was away with my kids on Vacation , my daughter found out Dad was cheating for the last YEAR (Emails), confronted him and he said to keep quite, she held it in for 4 weeks until she told on our 22yr anniv. He has left us now for the last 4 weeks and I have since found out he had her in my home and boat,she is married too and knows he was married as I confronted her on Facebook when I was suspicious months ago , and she said she would NEVER break up a Family and was doing nothing wrong but talking to him as a friend. . Ya right, she Slept with my husband. She thinks he has $, but not after I get done with him 🙂 and she lives in TN. She flew here while we were gone. So some women DO NOT CARE and I know my ex is responsible, but she is on the other end convincing him she is Ms. right as she wants him for his $$.

  11. soon after our third child was born, my then wife (now ex), told me that a marriage could last without sex. i spent fifteen long years lonely, bitter and sad. wishing for affection from her. i never got it. i was faithful to her for fifteen years. i tried everything. she told me each time that it wasn’t going to work, no sex period. no kissing, no hugging, couldn’t even hold her hand. i had given up, started to try and end my life. depressed, alone, and a mere shell of the man i was, i started to drink. i was found in the middle of winter, in a snowbank, by a friend who told me the truth. i needed to pull myself together and ask for a divorce. i did. i moved to another state, met a younger, prettier woman, and am now considered a cheater because i left someone who made me miserable and found someone who made me happy. screw that. i was divorced for six months before i even looked at another woman. women who sue over cheating spouses need to get a life. the only reason you want to sue is because you are jealous, hateful witches with nothing better to do than to make your ex pay for your failures. (if you cant keep him happy, let him go)

  12. Well I must say this topic seems to get people fired up. Mr. Manka, you’re making a very wrong assumption and that is every woman who gets cheated on doesn’t have sex with their husband. That may be your truth, but not everyone’s. I am glad you were divorced for 6 months before seeing someone else. You seem to still have some unfinished anger issues you might want to address :).

  13. Joe Manka, you are a bitter man indeed. I hope that one day you will get over your anger. My husband had an affair with a low life woman who knew he was married from day one. My husband and I have always had a fantastic, active sex life and he cheated because he went through a mid-life crisis and thought the attention from a younger woman was what he needed to boost his low self esteem. It didn’t work. My husband was at his worse during his affair. He was a shell of a man, depressed, angry and he hated himself. We have been rebuilding our marriage for two years and he realizes that cheating was wrong. He thinks the x-other woman was a piece of trash and I agree. Your anger may have made your x-wife not want to sleep with you. In my opinion a woman who knowingly sleeps with a married man who knows that he is married should be sued or beaten to death.

  14. My ex husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with our second daughter. We were actually going to marriage counseling because he went to a strip club when I was 8.5 months pregnant, and I needed to earn his trust back. Long story short, the whole time he was having an affair with a co worker of mine. What makes it worse, this co worker befriended me, went on walks during lunch with me while I was pregnant. Once I became suspicious, both of them denied it. It wasn’t until 6 months later that he finally admitted his wrong doing. Now, they are getting married. And she is in my two little girls lives, that is the hardest. I want to sue her for her malicious intentions, which obviously she did as she knew me. Is there anything I can do legally? We live in California.

    1. Larissa, I am sorry to hear about your situation, the fact that she is interacting with your girls is tough. When I found out that my husband had our daughter around the other woman, I was mad beyond belief. I am not a lawyer, so I can not advise you of the laws in California. I can tell you this, lawyer fees are very expensive, so just understanding that if you are able to proceed in your state, you will be using a good chunk of change to take this to court. I personally am more concerned on how you are doing with your life right now, your confidence, your personal recovery, you seem to have some anger and hurt with you from this tragic experience, and I hope that in time you will be in a better emotional state. If you have any other questions let me know, best of luck with whatever you decide, and keep me posted.

  15. Well after reading all these posts, it is interesting. I am one of these people that did sleep with a person whom was married. At the start of things i did not know that. I am also a male. The woman told me different things like they were legally separted and this all happened before i came into the picture. The woman cheated with someone months before i started talking to her. I met her on a normal dating site. Her husband or x whatever he is called has now been in contact with me and is taking out all his anger towards me even though i am not the first. Just his wife seemed to really like me. I know what i did was wrong and learned from it. I was lied to by this woman. I have now stopped seeing her and refused to do so more. Do i have anything to worry about? I have told the person sorry many times and i know it cant fix things but things were already broken when i came into it. I guess just at a real bad time.

    1. Hello Mr.,

      As far as the legal matter concerning if you have anything to worry about I am really not sure. I believe there are 7 states that do allow you to sue but not sure about your particular state – you would have to talk to a lawyer. If indeed the wife did put her profile on a dating site, then really you should not be too concerned, I think the law is really for people who knowingly pursue a married women/man, so I do think your case is different. I am glad that you found out the truth and have since stopped seeing her, no one likes being lied to. It’s typical for the person being cheated on to take it out on the person that he/she is cheating with, they are projecting their anger and it is normal, there is nothing you can do to stop that. Not contacting her or engaging in communicating with her is really the best thing for all parties involved.

  16. I have unfortunately had associated with women who carry deadly STDs who do not make their many married lovers wear condoms. They said, “Why should I tell them I have something? Nobody told me!” These women have grown up in families were incest was like going to the toilet. They never learned any moral sense. Hence, they make untrustworthy friends, lovers, family members, neighbors, coworkers and bababysitters since they will stop at nothing of sleeping with your teenage son. The best remedy is to DUMP anyone lacking relational boundaries. If you have gangrene you cut it off, right? It is best to slam the door and deadbolt it against anything that cat drug in.

    1. Roxanne,

      Thanks for sharing. It’s so very sad that women would do this on purpose. It’s actually illegal to infect someone with a deadly STD knowing you have it, but it happens. It’s such a difficult situation because your suppose to love and trust your husband, to have to think or consider that they would have unprotected sex is overwhelming in itself. I try to advise women after you find out your husband has cheated, it’s time to ask him to wear a condom, no matter how offended he is. I haven’t heard a story yet of a husband who made great efforts to protected himself while he has cheated.

  17. The other woman in my case knew my husband was married from the second she laid eyes on him, she even came to my work, since we all worked for the same company and told me how great he was, and blathered on. She didn’t care one second that she was ruining a relationship or hurting not only my children, but hers as well. She was looking for a easy way up the ladder and was embarrassed of her husband since he only worked construction and didn’t have a degree. She went from complaining about her husband to claiming he abused her and she was afraid of him to play the whole damsel in distress(BS her best friend who had known her for years told everyone that she always bad mouthed her husband and was ashamed of him since he didn’t have a degree and that he wouldn’t lay a hand on her), she played the game by texting my husband while they were at meetings and leaving him notes on his desk, inviting him to drinks and dinner and lunch after a year he followed right along. It wasn’t because he wasn’t full filled at home, it was the secret the she wants me ego builder. I asked him what I did wrong and his reply “nothing”. Do I think I should be able to sue this woman? YES she went after my husband like a dog in heat and was in no way oppressed. She would even ask about us and would get upset with him since he would tell her about his home life. Telling him it was ok to tell her since that’s what relationships were all about. He didn’t violate her, unfortunately he was stupid and high on ego and what he could get away with and participated, SHE VIOLATED MY FAMILY, MY FEELINGS. I should have every right to get restoration from her, I agree with the law.

    1. SadinTX,

      That is ashame, ashame that a women would do such a thing knowing he is married. It’s what my friend calls woman on woman crime. And as a society we have to get it together. Yes, it seems like your husband fell right into her little trap and I agree, if her husband was seriously abusive, she would not cheat on him for fear of her life. It’s also sad that she talks about her husband like that, if she is that unhappy, she should leave him and pursue a single man, there are plenty of them out there.

  18. Many women knowingly date married men, they only will date married men. Why? They think they have something to offer-someone else already thought so, plus there can be psychological reasons, borderline type personalities.

  19. One she was never my friend! We worked for the same company. Two I blame him more than I blame her, I’m fully aware that he broke our vows and he either has a long road to recover or he can take that long road alone. But as woman that goes to great lengths to ruin a marriage as she did, she is also to blame. And yeah she didn’t break an agreement with me or a contract or my trust etc. As a women, we  know full well of the damage caused to the other woman but all the other parties, children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters etc. when one commits acts such as these, then what is done should be punished.  Even if he was faithful through it and she continued to pursue him, I call this intent to damage.  And just because the wounds are not visible on the outside it is still devastating.  So I stand by what I say, she actively participated. If she would have conspired with him and committed murder she and he would be tried in a court of their peers  To bad I can’t produce what died inside me because of both his and her actions. 


  21. In my opinion, both parties are responsible. Marriage is not just vows between two people; it is a notification to the rest of society that these two people have a commitment to each other, and that they are no longer available for free sexual liaisons. Why else would we wear wedding rings? So everyone else can identify the married people from the non-married people! So if the OW didn’t know that “her” man was married, then I feel for her, and I hope she can get away as fast as possible. But if she knew from the start, or found out and KEPT sleeping with him, then she is most definitely an accomplice in the crime! And accomplices get charged too. Yes, of course it is 100% the husband’s fault; but it’s her fault too, now! She ruined a family with her willful actions, right along with the husband, so she does not deserve any sympathy from the law, let alone from the wife.

    My mother cheated on my stepmother with one of my stepmother’s closest friends. And then, for three years afterward, I had to see them together. Don’t tell me I can’t HATE that other woman for successfully knocking my stepmother out of the picture, the most stable adult in my life of those three. If only gay marriages were legalized. My mother and stepmother could have gotten married, and maybe none of this s*** would have ever happened. Or, maybe it would have, and we could have sued the heck out of that b****.

  22. Come to think of it, knowing my mother’s tendencies… No, marriage wouldn’t have stopped her (them). So yeah, we could have sued them. I hate what my mother did.

  23. pissed off in texas

    I have a f:&$) woman in Alabama, that knows damn good well that my husband is married and they still keep texting and whatever. I want to Sue her She is the one that has started the initiation of starting to text and call again, not him. I mean he isnt innocent at all he kept texting back. Im so Sick of all of this everytime he goes off on a GD pipeline job. who can I call to get this started anyone know if Texas offers this?

  24. I made my husband go take an aids test and everyother test and made him pay for it, not using our insurance and it was costly. I made him pay for it out of his BOAT FUND… then I made him tell our children why he was getting tested and what he had done.

    1. Hello Everyone,

      There are many situations that we can paint that will put more blame on either party. I don’t think any woman who experiences their husbands cheating ignores the husband’s part and puts full blame on the other woman. Yes, the husband is to blame – that’s a given, and almost every other post on this site is about the husband. What this article was saying is that if a women knows and actively and aggressivly (which is subjective) goes after a married man, can they be held accountable?

      Aurb – I agree with you, there are women that only date married men, and I think they have some issues from the past that they are projecting into not only their life, but other marriages.

      Pissed off in texas – I am not sure where you can find a lawyer, you might be able to look on the internet for someone that can give you legal assistance.

      SADinTX – My heart goes out to you for writing the last line about something dying inside of you, many women can relate. I wish you well.

  25. Hurt_Wife_in-NC

    I found out my husband cheated on me 8 months ago. March 27th to be exact. He met her when he was deployed in Iraq and she was a contractor (teacher). When he returned home in Feb I could feel that he was distant. He moved out two weeks later and said that he was moving out so we can “reconnect” again and assured me that he wanted to work on our marriage. Our marriage wasn’t perfect and we did argue a lot. There was even emotional and phyiscal abuse. While we were separated he was seeing this woman and seeing me, spending the weekends with me and our kids and even having sex with me.

    Deep down in me I had the feeling that he was cheating on me. However, whenever I brought it up he’d reassure me that it was all in my head and that he loved me and wanted to work things out. He even told our oldest girls that he wanted to work things out. While March 27th, after spending all weekend with us he tells me that he is going back to his friend’s house (thats where he was staying). I found this odd but didn’t question him. Then later on that night I get a text from him telling me that this was the only text I would be getting from him for the night and that he loved me. I text him an hour later and asked him what he was doing. No response. I had a gut wrenching feeling and checked his cell phone records.

    I saw a number from Wilmington that was unfamiliar to me and saw that he was calling and receiving calls multiple times. And I also saw where he was spending a long time on these phone calls. I ended up calling this number and a woman answered. My heart sank. I asked her if she knew my husband and she said “yes, he’s right here. Do you want to talk to him?” I said yes and she put my husband on the phone. He was shocked and when I asked him what he was doing, he said he was out on a date. I went crazy. I started crying and asked him why was he doing this since we are trying to work on our marriage. He denied everything. He said that we’re separated and it was over between us. I told him to get home now and he hung up on me. I called the other woman’s number and she didn’t answer. I told her that he is married and we were moving to FL in July. I kept calling him and her and they wouldn’t answer their phones.

    Long story short, he came to the house the next day and confessed to everything. He said that she is 23 and they met at a utility party in Iraq. He said that he told her we were separated but now that she knows the truth she didn’t want anything to do with him. He told me he didn’t love me anymore and wasn’t happy for a long time. The funny thing about that is that his reason of why he did it keeps changing. Well he went after her and she got back with him. He didn’t talk to me or the kids for a month. Our youngest is now 3 and he didn’t see him either for that month. He spent Easter with her and her family. I found pictures of them that he emailed himself to his old email address which I had the password too.

    Then in June he told me that she broke up with him because of his “problems” (once I found out about the affair I contacted his commander, but nothing happened). He told me that even though he is not with her anymore he still didn’t want to be with me and that he could never trust me again since I contacted his commander and tried to ruin his career. Can you believe that? He said that if I left it alone, it would have fizzled out and he would have wanted to work things out. He is a piece of work. He said that he cheated bc he wasn’t happy, I didn’t give him enough attention, and that he “realized” I didn’t appreciate him, the list goes on.

    Well he moved to DC in August and I found out that his whore also moved to DC in August. When I confronted him about it he said that he didn’t have to explain anything to me anymore and that he can’t control where she moves too bc she wants to work in the defense industry. I told him it was such a coinsidence that she happened to move their the same month he did. He didn’t say anything. He doesn’t deny it or confirm it but I got all the confirmation I needed when he said that he never brings her around our son.

    I filed for divorce and when that is finalized I have every intention of going after her. She continued the affair after she found out he was married. She, along with my husband caused so much damage and pain to me and my children. She also destroyed my family without any regard. Her mother is a piece of crap too since she knew that my husband was married and condoned their relationship. I have a lot of evidence against this whore. She admitted on the stand that she had an affair with my husband (she took out a no contact order against me bc I was texting her letting her know what a whore she was and I was causing her undue stress). Well her plan to somehow get me in trouble backfired bc I could use her testimony against her and my husband. Her when I sued her for alienation of affection and him when it’s time to get alimony.

    It’s been 8 months now and the pain is not as bad but it’s still there. I am traumatized by everything that has happened and have no trust for anyone. I hate them both for what they did but after reading the stories here about positive recovery I refuse to give them anymore of my mental energy. I deserve better and I WILL be happy one day. I realize that I am better off without him, not financially, but emotionally and phyiscally. I would never ever take him back when he realizes the mistake he’s made. She’s 23 and he is 32. I asked him what they could possible have in common and he said that she’s mature for her age and she isn’t me. I’m 38 but don’t look my age, I also have 4 kids and don’t look like it either. When I saw her picture I couldn’t believe that he left me for her. She is the opposite of me, blonde hair, fat, unattractive. I still don’t understand it but reading the articles and comments made me realize that they are both insecure ppl. They feed off one another to make themselves feel good. I know what goes around comes around..I am a true believer in Karma. I WILL overcome this and I WILL find that someone who will love me for me.

    1. Hurt Wife in NC,

      Thanks for sharing your story. I can see how much pain you were in during the experience. It’s so painful when someone that you love just pushes you to the side, and your 4 kids, my heart really goes out to you. You will never understand why. I stated in my ebook create 1 why in your head and stick to it, if not it will drive you crazy. A young 23 year old is just that, and it’s so crazy that husbands would give up their family. In a way, if your husband was saying those things to you, it’s good your out of the situation, I know it’s hard, but being with someone that is constantly saying he doesn’t love you,etc. is not good for you. I am so glad the positive recovery stories helped you and yes someone will love you for you! Good luck in your journey.

  26. Hurt_Wife_in-NC


    Thank you for responding to my post. The past few month have been hell. And I agree with what the other poster said about something in you dying. I guess I am still angry bc this came out of nowhere. Even though we were having issues I believed in my heart that we would work things out bc we have done so in the past. All his letters from Iraq never gave me any indication that there was anything wrong. If anything it was the opposite. He would tell me that he loves me and the children and he missed us so much. He would tell me that he couldn’t wait to get home to us. After he left, I begged and pleaded with him to come back and try to work this out. We have been together 9 yrs, married for 6. Oct 4th would have been our 7 yr anniversary and knowing that he was with her that day would so painful. I wondered if he even thought about me that day.

    When I found out, he told me that it was only suppose to be a fling and she wasn’t suppose to be back until July. He said that by that time we wouldve been in FL. He told me that he gave her his number in case she had any questions. To this day, I don’t know why he would do that if it was suppose to be a fling and what kind of questions would she want to ask him. What hurts the most is that his loyalty is to her and not me or our family anymore. Our divorce is turning ugly bc he is fighting me on everything I am asking for. The last time we talked which was a few months ago, he told me that he still loves me but he surpresses his feeling for me. Then a few weeks ago he tells me he doesn’t love me and that he doesn’t have to explain anything to me anymore. He said he didn’t care what I do, but yet tells me that he hears what I do (he still has friends left in our town). I just don’t understand how someone who before he left told me he loved me so much and couldn’t see his world without me. He said that when he sees my face its like seeing me for the first time. He thanked me for sticking by him all these years and said that if I continue to stick by him, the best is yet to come. Whenever I think about the past, the things I’ve done for him and given up for him, it makes me so angry. I didn’t work bc he didn’t want me too. I gave up on school bc he was afraid that I’d “meet someone better than him”.

    Yet he left me as soon as someone “better” came along. This girl is college educated and from the pictures I’ve seen of her and her family, they are pretty well off. I am so insecure and my confidence level is at the lowest it’s ever been. He took away everything from me and my children. All our hopes and dreams are nothing but a memory bc he chose to be with her. I have so much hatred for both of them. I hate him for doing this and I hate her for carrying on the relationship even though she knew he was still married with kids.

    I have never nor would I ever have a relationship with a married man. Being that she is 23 isn’t an excuse bc at that age you are mature enough to know what is right and wrong. However, seeing that her mother has no problem with what her daughter is doing, I suspect that she probably doesn’t see anything wrong with what she is doing. She broke up a family and any relationship that my husband will ever have with his kids. My oldest two girls hate him and want nothing to do with him. Yesterday was our son’s bday and my son and I spend the day together, instead of all of us spending his special day together. Instead he was spending his day with his whore in DC living it up while my son and I are struggling to get by.

    I have so much anger and bitterness towards them that I know it’s not healthy for me. Some days are good but these past few days have been bad for me. I sent him an email on Friday telling him that what he has is just a fantasy and when he realizes the mistake he’s made it will be to late for him to fix all the damage he has done. He never responds to my emails or texts. He is a POS like his whore. I keep telling myself that they both will get theirs in the end, bc Karma is a bitch and it will be 10x worse than what I am going thru now. I’m also anger at his family bc they don’t say anything to him. They don’t tell him what he is doing is wrong, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already brought her around them. That really breaks my heart. His family on his mother’s side and his mother pretty much cut off all contact with us. His mother and I used to be really close. He’s a mama’s boy and I’m pretty sure that he tells her everything. I asked her if he’s in love with this slut and she responded with “he doesn’t talk to me much about that situation”. She text me yesterday to wish the baby a happy bday and then asked how was I doing. I know that it’s all BS and she doesn’t give a crap or is concerned with how I’m doing. If she did, she wouldn’t accept this type of behavior from her son. I know that I would NEVER accept that kind of behavior from my own son. Then again I was brought up differently.

    The only person who has stayed in touch with me and my children is his father and stepmother. His father apologized for what his son is doing and he doesn’t understand it either bc when we separated my STBX told him that he wanted to work things out and that he loved me. My STBX actually stopped talking to his dad bc his father made his feelings known to him. I hate this whole situation but like I said before I have so much hatred for him and his whore.

    Once he got the job he wanted, he threw me away like garbage and got a new GF and a new life. Being in our home isn’t helping much either. It’s just me and my son in this big house and I see him everywhere. There are so many memories here that sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. I have no desire to maintain my house like I once did. Everything is falling apart, which is how I feel my life is going at this moment. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am seeing a therapist but I don’t think it’s helping much. I still have anger, hatred, and bitterness. I don’t want to be this person anymore.

    I feel so lost. I’m angry and jealous that he is living his new life without any consequence and is happy. And here I am trying to get over what happened and start new but can’t bc I’m still depending on him financially. He screwed me out of getting more money for CS and Alimony. He was getting extra pay from the goverment and didn’t include that in his income. I am sure he is paying for their lifestyle since she is only a receptionist and doesn’t make as much money. I know him and I remember how he was when we first starting dating. He’s probably buying her everything under the sun to impress her. Yet he doesn’t realize that he is taking away from his son to give to his whore.

    I just don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t.

  27. @ the poster above, wow, your story is so similar to mines. My husband and I had been married for 8 years, and we have two small children, he went to the DC area for a job and hooked up with this low self esteem chick, except for in my case this chick is 11 years his senior and has grandchildren the same age as our kids, which is really sad because being slightly less than a senior citizen you would think she would know better. My husband had been lying to me for months even when I had the proof, such as text messages and phone calls. He became real distance and decided he did not want us to move to where he was at the last minute and wanted us to stay put in the state were currently in. His excuse was that he wanted us to save up more money since its cheaper to live where I am at. I knew something was up, so months later I made a surprise trip to the area and discovered that he was not only sleeping with this old ass slut, he was living with her part-time. (thanks to the internet I found her address) I was devastated. I was so angry that I broke her house windows out and wrote on her door, (they were not home, apparently was on a sex induced trip for his birthday). I think by far what sickens me the most is that it was so easy for my husband to dismiss us, including his kids and then try to blame me for him cheating by saying he was miserable. Which by the way, he never expressed until he got caught. I personally called this woman 8 months prior to me making my surprise visit to ask her about the text messages she was sending my husband. I told her he was married with small kids, she hung up on me, so she was fully aware that he was married at the time she met him. To make a long story short, he now claims he wants his family back , but I personally think he still creeps over to her for sex, so even with her busted windows, harassing phone calls and text messages, this does not deter her from sleeping with a married man. She does not care about him having small kids or her partaking in destroying a marriage. She is simply thirsty for penis and affection and plans on keeping it at any cost. Trust me if this law was available to me, I would sue the slutty draws off this chick. My husband has no money after he provides for our household, so she is hanging on only for the sex.

    The trust is totally gone. I am extremely hurt, and I literally almost hate him for putting our kids through this. We are still living in separate states, and with us living apart we can never work on the marriage. My plan is to move to where he is, but not together. At this point I have no room in my heart for a reconciliation. He is not deserving of me. So to the poster above, I feel your pain and one of the things that helped me to overcome this, was to pray and ask god to help me get through this. Remember it will pass, my philosophy is that everything happens for a reason, maybe god has better plans for you.

    1. Hello Lea,

      He not only was cheating, but he was living with her part-time. I understand how the trust is totally gone, especially you both living in separate states, there is no way for you to really know what is going on. I see that you are still moving to DC, is that so the kids can have their father in their life? If that is the case I get that. I know it’s so devastating to find this out with two small kids, you would think letting the OW know would give her a conscious, but not the case here. I know in the end things will work out in your favor. Take Care.

  28. Hi Jewels,

    Yes that is totally the reason why I am moving. He basically physcially abandoned us in a very small town, where I have no family and no one to assist me with the kids. So I feel that its not fair for him to get to live his single life like he does not have any resposnisbilities, even though he sends us plenty of money to support us, he needs to put in his time with his children. So my plan is to find a job in the DC area, get me a place and move near him and his old chick and let him be the father he is suppose to be. Maybe they can play with her grandkids. lol. Not to mention it will be easier for me to move on because I would be in a major city where I can start dating as well, and have some time for myself on the days where he keeps the kids. Thanks for sharing your story as well, and please stay strong eventually your husband will wake up and realize that the grass is never greener on the other side, however by the time he sees this you will most likely have moved on with your life, and probably with someone that is going to value and appreciate you more than he did.

    1. Hello Lea,

      lol I totally laughed at the joke about her playing with her grandkids lol.

      Yes I totally get the move, the same reason you are moving is the same reason I am not. I don’t have family here but outside of the cheating he does want to be in the kids life and I want that for them as well. So as long as I can handle it, I will stay here. He has the kids once a week and every other weekend now, which will be the final arrangement. I wanted him to keep the kids more because I felt that these are his kids as well, but I came to the realization that he just can’t take care of them longer than a day or two. We have been separated for a year, and will be divorced by the end of January, and it happened exactly how you said, he realized too late, and by the time he did, I was done. Cheers to a better life, I LOVE the DC area, you will enjoy it.

  29. my husband had affair with a friend that he said that’s all they were. well i find out that in April 2011 she had a baby girl, well i found out through her he never once said anything kept this a secret new she was pregnant but thought she would never tell who the father was. yesterday cops come up an serve him with papers an now wants to tell me that he loves me an he sorry. she even told me she was sorry an like i told her that she knew he was married she goes i know but it happened

    1. Hello Kathy,

      Great timing, he shows you when the cops show up to serve him. I think I would say I am sorry at that point as well. It’s pretty fresh in you finding out, and it’s way to early to tell if he is really sorry, you are going to have to watch his actions, not his words in the next couple of weeks. Having an affair and having another child and trying to hid it is a big deal. Give it some time to see how he acts in the next couple of weeks.

  30. I had been seeing a fella for a couple months. He’d called me and said, he wanted to get back with his X. We were friends and I didn’t want to stop him from what he felt would really make him happy.
    Then, a couple weeks later, he came to see me and again. I asked him specific questions about this ‘X’ he told me about …. he said she was an X-girlfriend and that there were No Kids involved. I believed him! Primarily because I had never caught him in a lie before (and yes, I had put him to the test several times before).
    Well, we ended up in bed together again.
    After he left that afternoon, I started shaking. I’d never had anything like this happen to me before. The next day I told a good friend about it and she told me my body was sensing something was wrong.
    I don’t know ‘why’ but I decided to do some checking and I found out he was MARRIED. I wanted to puke. I thought I knew so much about him. Yet, he left out one teeny tiny detail … HIS WIFE!
    My cousin wasted no time calling his home and confronting him. (I could not have called if I wanted to. I was so distraught, I had to take a sedative to calm me down.) His wife answered the phone. When he got on the phone and pressed to come over, “to explain”. I wanted no part in it and that was made perfectly clear to him.
    I’m so sick over this, all’s I can think about is his wife. I was married for over 11 years and I would never want this done to me. I had no idea, had I, I would have never gotten involved with him.

    1. Lied2,

      Welcome to the site. I want you to know something. In no way shape or form are you anything like the OW that we talk about on the site. Many of the women we interact with know our husbands are married, and continue to cheat. There is a HUGE difference in moral, judgement and ethics when you know that the man is married vs when you don’t know. It’s amazing how our bodies are such indicators for what is good for us, and with you in your body shaking. The fact that once you found out, you immediately cut it off and found a way to inform the other women is commendable. Many women are so wrapped up in the feelings and the relationship that once they find out, they continue to see our husbands. So don’t feel bad, pat yourself on the back that you did the right thing. You can’t prevent something that you don’t know. Thanks for posting!

  31. Lied2- I haven’t experienced what you have, but for some reason your story touched me-I am so so sorry for your pain. You could not have known– don’t beat yourself up too much over him- not worth it at all. As far as his wife, I doubt this is the first time he has done this- seems like he has had practice with all the stories and lies he had to come up with to pull this off. I haven’t dated in years- Lots of years 🙂 -but I remember the first few months were about getting to know someone and finding out if you are compatible– I guess now you have to run a complete back ground check — just to make sure they are who they say they are– crazy and a little sad too. Good luck in healing from this horrific experience- you will find your soul mate- the bad karma surrounding this event belongs to him–believe me the truth will get him in the end- it always does :). Happy New Year- Peace and Blessings.

  32. JB-
    Thank you. I’m still sick over it but those that know, expects me to just get over it. This was/is so wrong on so many levels. My cousin told me that when his wife answered the phone she asked who it was. Cousin said she could tell by the tone of her voice this was the first time, but rather, a ‘hear we go again’ tone.
    I have asked God to forgive me, I forgave myself, him, and I asked God’s blessings over her. I wouldn’t want to be her…. I just can’t get past knowing how hurt she must be. Divorce is terrible thing but add this into the mix and it’s even worse.

  33. Lied2- of course you feel sick over this- you are a good person- and good people don’t willingly become part of an affair. You have a right to be angry and disgusted, but direct those emotions at him- you were lied to and he really is to blame on this one. It figures that his wife had the “here we go again” tone- no big surprise. I know she is hurt- affairs ALWAYS hurt, but you didn’t cause that intentionally –HE DID. My husband had an affair- and it HURTS! and while I know it takes 2 to tango- and in my case I have put some (not all) of the blame on the OW, your situation is different. Give yourself some credit for stopping it as soon as you found out- and remember everything happens for a reason-you will find your lesson in it all- give it time and be open to it- the silver lining always shines through even in the darkest moments. You are not responsible for what he did to his wife, he is- and only they can work through his affairs-don’t get involved with that- he already put you through too much. Chalk this up to an experience you won’t relive again–just don’t give a man like this any power over your emotions– he is totally not worth it. Take care of YOU! One thing you do need to do is worry about STD’s -get yourself checked soon- if he has had multiple partners and you had unprotected sex you are at risk– Be safe and Be Strong!

  34. In less then 24 hours, there have been 517 hits on his name (no photo), as a cheater! Woo Hoo! I’m sure by now he has been found out by family and friends and maybe, just maybe, this will shame him into reforming his life.

  35. i must say i strongly disagreed that the other woman is “oppressed and victimized.” i was married for what would have been 5 years to a man i loved very much. i was not the perfect wife that he wanted. after having out first child, i was over weight, wore pjs, worked and was expected to cook clean and be ready for sex that night. men dont realize when they get married and have kids, if you dont take them from time to time, most likely your wife wont have the time she had before to doll herself up and feel pretty. anyway, our marriage was rough, divorce mentioned often but we agreed to work on it when my parents died. we were happy, or it appeared to me, for months afterwards. i was pregnant with out second child and we were moving to his home state to start over. he left me for a week while visiting his sister and i got an email saying he wasnt where he said and was hooking up with someone. i was devastated. he keep leaving making excuses like the boys are deploying, his friends funeral. i soon found out what was going on and the other woman, married to his friend, knew he was married and i was pregnant. he eventually left and said he wasnt happy. he denied the affair even after giving me a STD. later on i found out that my husband had in fact had an affair with his friend (the other womans husband) as well as her and some other chick. about three months straight, my husband begged me to allow him to return to the marriage all he needed was “my love.” i can live looking over my shoulder and felt as though our thrust was forever broken because of it. she left her husband and now they live together. i have to see her every time her comes to pick up our kids. so i am one of the wives that is suing them. they dont stop to think about the people that they are hurting whether its physically or emotionally, both in my case. im sure he told them i was a bitch and he wasnt happy but im sure he hasnt told her that he admitted to the affair and begged to come back months after leaving and i turned him down. so she is most likely sitting there thinking i have no evidence and shes going to get off scott clean for her contribution. if a man is so unhappy in his marriage then she should tell him nothing can happen until you have left it. if that is indeed what he wanted because it seemed to me it wasnt.

  36. crushed english rose

    sadintx, I agree. The other woman deilberately pursued my H too, and she already had a boyfriend of her own! Like, how many men does she need already?!

    I wish this law was coming to England. Maybe if it was in force here my H would have thought twice about letting that old hag get her claws into him.

  37. I am lucky enough to live in one of the states that does recognize alienation of affection law suits. I have been reading up on them. In my case, my husband advertised on a website to find some one to have a “discreet relationship” with someone and that he didn’t want any changes in his life. That should have been a red flag right there for anyone interested in him. While the OW may not have known from the beginning that he was married, she did find out, and continued a relationship with him, and it is still going on. She is a widow with no children. There is NO ONE she is hurting in her family by having an affair with my husband, but this affair has torn our family apart. Yes, he advertised, so did she. And she could have broken it off with my husband once she found out he was married, but she chose not to. Now he has developed feelings for her. Until he was caught cheating, he never once told me he was so unhappy. To this day he still says he loves me dearly. BUT, he also cares for her.

    Has anyone had a successful outcome in one of these suits? I don’t want a fortune. I just want to live comfortably and not worry about finances so much. Do I want revenge? Heck yeah. Do I care that it would bother him if I went after her? No, not really. I think that just the threat of a lawsuit would ensure that my kids and I are taken care of by him. Is it black-mail? Maybe so. But I don’t really care at this point.

  38. I know this is a site for women who have been cheated on by their husbands, but my situation is just the opposite. I would like your opinion. I have been with my wife for 34 years, married for 30. We started dating when I was 16. She is the only woman I have ever had sex with. We are both professionals and I have always supported her career goals, but mostly, I loved her deeper than I think anyone can.

    I found out last summer that, for 15 years of our marriage, she cheated on me with 3 different guys. It ended 8 years ago when she got a big promotion and didn’t want to risk the job. The first affair started when she was away at a seminar when our first daughter was 3 years old. It was a 2 week class. I took care of my daughter to visit her on the weekend because we missed her. It was a 4 hour drive to get there. Apparently, when we left, an older guy in the class started hitting on her and at the end of the week, after a reception where she had wine, he kissed her ( on the eve of our 8th anniversary ).

    They emailed after that and in the mean time we became pregnant with our second girl. When she was 2 months pregnant, she slept with him for the first time. When she was 7 months pregnant, we all went to California to one of her conferences as a vacation. Well, he was from CA and at lunchtime the first day of the conference, he picked her up and they went to a cheap hotel and had sex.

    This went on for 6 years, then the second one for 9 years and the third one during that 9 year period ( I guess one affair wasn’t enough at a time). She even went to Europe with them. This was supposed to be our dream trip. She even bought me a trip for my birthday last year.

    So for 20 years she was distant emotionally. I figured she was stressed in her career so I tried to give her space and support. It devastated me when I found out last year. My heart was crushed. But I didn’t leave her. I didnt want my daughters to have to deal with divorced parents and she has changed now ( I think ).

    Unfortunately, though we are close and our sex life is better, I will never love her the same as before. I keep having flashes in my head where I can picture her with them. They knew she was married and I have met them in the past. Hopefully our lives will be one of contentment and love… but I wish she hadn’t done it.

    I don’t really know why I wrote this here, but if you have any advice let me know.


    1. Hello Ray,

      Thanks for reaching out, I love when men come to the site. Many men think this is a men bashing site and I absolutely do not want to come off that way. I always say whenever a man comes to the site in pain, it gives every woman out there reading it hope that there are good faithful men, so thank you for sharing and than you for being a faithful husband for all those years, it is refreshing to hear.

      I know you are in pain over this, especially as a man, it is tough because sometimes women have supportive friends to talk to (not all the time but sometimes), men often battle it alone, never telling anyone. If she cheated for that long, the pain and images are not going to go away, they will haunt you and sometimes just her presence will remind you. if you have insurance I would highly recommend seeing a therapist on your own. You need and deserve and outlet, do not suppress it, because it will manifest into health issues. I know you want the best for your daughters, but the BEST thing you can give them is a healthy, happy dad. So invest some time into you and share your story with a professional therapist that can help you move through the life cycle, and manager those triggers (reminders of the affair), that you are having. People don’t treat affairs as a traumatic event but it absolutely is. Your wife has to do her part as well to repair the marriage, she has to be totally open, and create and environment of trust from the ground up. She has to put in the work. Take care, I hope things work out for you and your family.

  39. I wish we could sue all these websites that are set up to have an affair. Webcam sites, dating sites, etc. Disgusting. They glorify affairs and some even claim that they can help a marriage by enhancing your sexlife.

    What we need are a few good women whom open accounts under alias names that are stationed at these sites so we can help other married women find out if their husbands are registered. The security on some of these sites really go out of their way to make it hard for non-members to browse and catch their partners in the act.

    As far as suing the partner in crime – go for it, especially if there are children involved! More power to you.

  40. @other woman who commented first…no, how about YOU give us a break? It isn’t right for you (and any other “OW”) to be mad at the wives of the men you slept with. What did the wife ever do to you? Stop playing the victim, because you are not the victim here.

    I know that some mistresses/OW have no idea that the man is married, but they are in the minority. Most OW know that he is married but they don’t care…they convince themselves that they’re “in love” and that what they’re doing is perfectly fine. So please spare me the BS about being so oppressed and victimized. No one is forcing you to make bad choices. And yes, sleeping with a married man (if you know he is married) IS a choice.

    We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. But a real woman takes responsibility for her actions, sweetheart. She doesn’t blame others, let alone the man’s wife. If you want to be upset with the man because you feel that he deceived you, fine…but don’t blame the man’s wife. Stop making excuses for bad behavior and move on with life and be a better person. Remember, what goes around comes around.

    Many OW claim that the man lied to them, that he didn’t tell them he was married. Sometimes that is true and situations like that are sad. But like I said, that is only a minority of cases. The rest of the time, the OW is aware that he is married but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that there is a wedding band on his finger (not counting the guys who take their rings off) and she doesn’t give a damn about his wife or children.

    To act as if you are completely innocent and blameless is wrong.

  41. @CJ…I know you asked this question last year about whether anyone has ever been successful in lawsuits like this. I saw a movie based on actual events in North Carolina. There was a woman named Dorothy (forget her last name) who sued her husband’s mistress for “alienation of affection” and she actually won the case!

  42. @Passion23…my, my, are you an OW yourself?

    1) It’s rude to TYPE LIKE THIS…turn off your caps lock.

    2) I agree that the cheating husband are the main ones at fault but let’s not pretend that all OW are completely innocent. Some women get off on trying to “steal” another woman’s man. It is a thrill to them.

  43. Hi Ladies, just to give you an update. I finally moved to the DC area last year, and 3 months before moving I found out just how trifling my husband and his homewrecker was. I was able to hack into his emails (forgot password) and I discovered the true level of their relationship. It was filled with “I love yous” and highly sexual content mainly bragging about her oral skills and him jizzing on her face. She also acknowledged in the emails that she was a 45 year old mistress and that my husband always told her he was in love with both of us (what type of low self esteem having slut accepts this??) She was even trying to coerce him to abandon us for her own selfish and sexual gratification. Saying she was addicted to his penis and him saying the same. I guess at some point he must have gotten cold feet and told her to move on, where her response was “she couldn’t because she was in love”

    I told my husband I was going to file for divorce after this, and he now suddenly doesn’t want to lose his family. I guess it was one thing for me to suspect it, but now that I had proof he couldn’t peddle his way out of this one because this confirmed everything I couldn’t prove because I was living in another state. I found out where she works, and her pics that she had emailed. She attempted to file a peace order against me because I had forwarded the emails she sent my husband back to her giving her a piece of my mind on every email she sent him. I mean did she expect me to roll out the red carpet??? I also posted her pic and profile on, and since she is in a professional position I am sure her company will be happy to see the type of immoral slut they have working for them. I would recommend this site to any wife to vent about how a homewrecker has imposed on their lives. The stories are amazingly similar.

    To date, it has been over a year since this demon has walked into our lives. My husband and I are in a good place, he admitted to what he did as being wrong and has asked for forgiveness. Since we are in the same state now it’s better for our marriage, however earning my trust back is still a work in progress.

    1. Lea – Hi Lea!! Good to hear from you, I can tell you are in a much better place, and I am glad you and your husband are back in the same house, it makes a different. I know building trust is a journey but it seems you are on the right track. Hugs to you!!

  44. I am certainly in agreement that these women who knowingly sleep with these men should learn the hard way not to allow these men to use them as convenience. As women we are more than convenience for men. If the man is married there is no commitment for you. You are just being used. Don’t you think you value more. Do you want someone to do the same to you. I know the answer is no. Suing these women will send a message, There is a cost to your insanity. When you display this behavior it HURTS. Since you cannot hurt physically then you should be hurt in the pocket book. Sue these women. By the way which are the 7 states you can sue.

  45. If the other woman knows the man is married, especially with kids, she is just as much to blame as the cheating hubby. She is knowingly destroying a family and another woman’s soul. I wish this behavior was made illegal and definitely a action that is liable for being sued. It is disgusting, selfish, even evil behavior and she obviously has no regard for others and only focusing on her selfish needs. Women should empower one another, not be the cause of pain and the reason a family breaks down and children lose their fathers. Not to mention the agonizing pain they are forced to watch their mothers go through.

  46. ClassactsoFU

    Hi, 18 years….Many many years of passion, laughter, building dreams and great family memories..The key word just a memory now…When the going got a little tough he got going…Coward…oh he slept with me and played the part a little after he turned into something I never ever knew …A mean vicious manipulator verbally and at the end physically abusive….One day I was the love of his life the next I was the target of vicious insults and screaming…just a total living hell…4 .and a half years he played me…I could not comprehend where the man I knew and built this passion and loving family life had gone too…Ping Pong it was a game to this MF asshole I was his game…well as it turns out I was always right there was a lover…. and oh my when confronted or merely asked a question that was a no brainer…his venom just hissed like the snake he is…guess he could not handle the truth…Coward..oh gets better…seems his lover who knew he was a married man decided to insert herself into my marriage 4 years ago how ironic that when I became his object of destruction…but then hold on…we get it together the passion love laughs for 1.5 years until 2.5 months ago when one day the MF ass turned and this time it was brutal just brutal….Alas seems the MF ass and his cheating ass reconnected with the lover that once again chose to insert herself into MY marriage. YES I know for sure she was not the bride at MY WEDDING .I was…..YES divorce asap is in action……and guess what the gal who chose to insert her ass into my marriage not once but twice works in my field and OH MY everyone knew…Imagine for years I suffered emotionally I will not even go there it was very bad and now I know many business associates and I mean many knew and friends also knew but no one told me…My reputation my character my good name smeared by the lying cheating asses that neither can hold a candle to me I understand why my friends and associates never told as this situation is like an episode of wo the bleep did I marry and appears the vicious lies the MF ass told is his fairytale world has caused a huge concern for many people and as if my nightmare of pain was not enough hmmmm well who ever reads this imagine the unbelievable imagine the most disturbing stalking movie you have seen then times that by 100….Never ever ever could anyone think such gaslighting and emotional torture could exists…Trust me it does Evil does exist. Take it from ME these two MF asses and their insane lies have ME in a situation that being polite a damn living hell that no one except those 2 MF asses deserve to live not ME the victim of their lies…so Absolutely Sue them both enact an accountability law against people who knowingly cheat with married people..and in my case I know how to handle my self but the deliberate cruelty bestowed upon me needs to be made right…YES it does it sure the Hell does so I will never get my months of life ruined by those who have no conscious so monetary damages for pain and suffering sure would be the next best thing…and hey maybe someone does have a conscious Readers lets hope so for my sake …perhaps one or 2 people in the know about the MF asses lies realized who and OMG OMG who was the target of the husband’s lies…OMG when they did well Readers I guess this story may just have an ending no one sees coming just like I was thrust into this living hell all from my husband the cheater liar and manipulator and his lover who knowingly inserted herself into MY marriage and partakes in his lies…Great topic my life was purposely almost destroyed so yes I think monetary compensation is in order…Readers I said almost because It is never going to be destroyed now not ever..I am glad to be rid of him and I am a very strong perceptive and much smarter then the average bear..and I will not break nope and finally a friend or 2 or 3 or 5 said OMG that’s his wife ….so my reputation and my life will be able to sit back and watch the finale…as the saying goes….Blood is thicker then water all the way back alllll the way through your family history yes it…and good friends who have yoyr back could be anywhere to assist you through this nightmare..Oh yes in my case pain and suffering damages are in order …nite nite

  47. Hey Ladies,
    I can’t even go into all the details of my husbands infidelity. He’s a Sex Addict, for him it was about, instant gratification, the Thrill of getting away with it, being sexual online and tons of different women. I was very depressed after my father died and my middle son, 14 yrs. old came to live with me, my husband and his son 16 yrs. old, trouble!!! I’d finished trade school, but I was also going to physical therapy for an injury at work, my back and neck, and looking for a job.
    My husband and I were married in 2002 and it was 2005 when he cheated, only 5 mos. into buying our first home and bam he goes on a business trip and goes to get a massage, well, he got the massage, a hand job and the rest we know, an extremely happy ending! This was the start to a wonderful relationship for him. He located lots of places for massages, and I NEVER KNEW. Why you ask? He received monthly bonuses and never told me, one year he received $8,000 in bonus money, I had NO clue. To make this short, he went on Craigslist and found free sex when he traveled for work and or put in ads, which he did often. One month he was gone 22 days out of the mos. and to three different locations. Wow, there is soooooo much, I’m going to write a book! I’ve written down everything he’s told me. With CL, massage parlors and random hookups. I busted him in 2008, when I found letters in his computer, he said he was corresponding, but when it came down to meeting her, he stood her up. I was so happy, I didn’t ever think he would cheat on me, WRONG!!!!! He did, I found out 4-5 yrs. later that he did indeed have dinner and fucked her!! Second round:

    Our neighbor around the corner decided to introduce herself one day when he was mowing the lawn, knowing well he’s married, she still gave her number to him. She’s married still, but separated and has a live in boyfriend. I guess that wasn’t enough, bitch! I was having my own issues with depression, drinking and gaining weight, I hated myself. But, I was waiting for my husband to save me, it was a cry for help and I was over medicated by my therapist, ( I fired her ass) and feel great now!
    The neighbor, Brandy, (ugh!) she invites us to her house for a BBQ, I felt totally alone as my husband was being shown the house and I was not invited, later to find out, he lied and said we were separating, but staying at the house until we had to move. So, Brandy and him started texting and it eventually led to her house and sex, and this went on right under my nose for a year and a half, right around the corner, on Fridays and I wasn’t working at the time, but my head wasn’t screwed on right either! It gets worse, but I’m going to skip that. We lost our home, went bankrupt and moved to a rental.
    I did everything, I quit drinking and was looking for a job. I felt that itch to pry again, it’s now Oct. 2012 and he was let go of his job of 11 years and now was working 75 miles away. I found on his computer a message to a woman, inviting her to his hotel, he stayed one night down there. This time, I left the message up on his computer and open, so when he sat down he had some explaining to do. This is how it all started, the guilt, he couldn’t take it any more and the real me was coming back. I went off about 7-9 meds and I wasn’t a zombie anymore and now I had a sexual appetite, I didn’t before. He confessed to Brandy and a few others, but in the past almost 3 yrs. he keeps remembering more.
    One night I needed a break away from the house and booked a hotel with a girlfriend, just so he didn’t think I was out for revenge sex. My friend and I than switched hotels the next day and that morning I’m writing a letter to my husband and all of a sudden I jump up and scream, OMG, HE SCREWED HER, OMG!! I can’t believe it, he screwed Felicia! My friends asking who she is, I say, she’s like a daughter to us, she calls me Mom and my husband Daddy! Ugh again! Intuition!! I just knew it, but in must compose myself. Anyways we had therapy that afternoon and afterwards I said, “Let’s go the long way around, as soon as we hit this little park with hiking trails, I said stop here, I need to ask you something, let’s walk up here a bit. I looked at him straight in the eyes and said,” I know you fucked her, I know! You better tell me now, if you DON’T tell me RIGHT NOW, we are done, I’m leaving you! Tell me? I know who it is, you need to let it go, tell me? Than I said fine if I find out anyway else, it’s completely OVER!! He looks at me and says, fine, what do you want me to say, I slept with Felicia? And I responded, “Well, did you?” And he said yes! He fucked her on our 10 year wedding anniversary while I was at work. He spent a lot of money on her, bought her a personal massage, nice hotel, candy, flowers, rose petals on the bed, champagne and let’s not forget, he bought her lingerie! This was her list of things she wanted, she wanted to be treated like a Princess she said! This is where the legality comes in, she gave him an STD, genital warts, which causes cervical cancer and or mouth cancer. He thought it was a skin tag, ummmm, NOOOOO! Go to your Drs. now. Oh ya, what did I get for my anniversary, NOTHING, ZERO, not even a card! She got what I deserved!
    So, I looked into suing her for possible “Malicious Harm” because she knew she had HPV and she was on her period. I just made it to not having to go get a Pap for every 4 years, nope, every fucking year now, all because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and she was engaged to be married. WHORE! At 23. So, I personally think you should be able to sue, especially if it potentially puts yourself in danger.
    And that’s ONLY the HALF of the story! I left the mean shit my husband did to me, like telling me I was crazy when I’d confront him. I fell down to my knees and begged him not to leave me.

    NOW, we are in 2014 and we are in therapy and he goes to two meetings a week, does a service and has a sponsor. We are just extremely poor, trying to survive off of $9 a day, that would be $256 a mos. with $1,025 for rent! Don’t know how we’re going to do it, but we are a team! Moving over 500 miles away has made life so much easier and not so many triggers.
    Thanks for reading my story,
    Good Luck to ALL you Women out there, it’s a tough ride! Worse than tough!! Sorry! I hope you find peace, I’m still looking too! And forgiveness! Revenge was another part of my plan, something creative, we will see!!:I made them pay but not good enough in my book and it’s been 2 yrs. now! I will never forgive either one for the anniversary sex, cause my husband and I were actually having sex and getting along. He just had a fantasy about her, and that fantasy never came true, his words,”It was like fucking a dead fish!”
    The End

    1. Ellen and ClassactsoFU,

      Boy both of you have been through SO much. Ellen I never would of thought that through all of that infidelity that at the end of the story you would be in therapy. But everyone has their own story, and I wish you the best in getting back on financial track, I know that can be tough!

      ClassactsoFU – it seems like you went through the ringer as well, but you are no longer together. I am glad to see that you are smarter and wiser from the experience, sometimes that is all we can do, look for what we can learn and move on.

      Take care ladies!

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