Recovery from infidelity is exhausting. Today was just a really draining day dealing with my cheating husband. I allowed myself to be upset by his words. I hate when I let him get to me. It doesn’t make sense and I do it over and over again. My cheating husband wants to do things his way and just doesn’t take time to listen to what I am trying to say. This happened even before the affair, before the lying and sneaking around.
I really feel like my failure was my inability to be confident enough to know what I want and know what I don’t want. I told myself that the good outweighed the bad in our marriage, even though secretly I knew something wasn’t right. But over time, the things that I willfully ignored became bigger and bigger. The one little lie turned into more lies. The one thing he neglected to tell me turned into many things.
And now, I am drained. I am emotionally drained. My energy was so high this week, and because of just three conversations with my cheating husband, I now have no energy. The conversations to try to repair our marriage and recover from the affair are going nowhere, and they’re leaving me angry and depressed. I am so mad that he has this effect on me, and I am determined to get to the point where he does not do this to me.
I have to remember that I have an energy and spirit that is so much more positive than this, and that I allowed him to dampen that energy and spirit. I say that I allowed this to happen because ultimately I choose how I feel, and even though he made me feel like this today, trust me, I WILL RECOVER. I strive to be strong like Jenny—cheating spouse recovery woman.