It’s really hard to have young kids in the environment of pain and sadness that cheating causes. For example, sometimes I find myself getting way too frustrated at them when really I am just frustrated at my own situation. I project my own anger onto them, and I am disappointed that I do not have more self-control. They’re so young and so innocent, I hate they have to go through this. You try to put on a fake smile and laugh a fake laugh so they won’t worry. You try to sing songs and tickle them and play with them so they won’t be able to tell what is going on.
But despite your best efforts, kids somehow know! They know when I and my cheating husband are arguing, even though we think we hide it well. They know when I am upset, even thought I smile right in front of them. And they will inadvertently say things that make you feel really bad such as, “I want Mommy and Daddy to go together..” or “Can we all go together as a family?” or “Mommy you have to be nice to Daddy.”.
Great, my 4 year old is trying to help solve a grown up issue. I haven’t even made the decision to stay or leave and it is already impacting her. This sucks. My only hope is that both of my kids will grow up having a good relationship with both Mommy and Daddy, even if it is apart.