Today I would like to share with you that I am divorced. I have not been writing too much about the process until now because divorce is already complicated, and I just wanted to get through it.
After discovering my husband’s infidelity, I continued to live with him for 18 months, trying to come to terms with the situation and decide if I was going to stay or leave. I finally decided to leave and have been living on my own now for over a year and a half. I did not start the actual divorce process until last July because of financial reasons, and in my lack of understanding what the process entailed, I thought things would be wrapped up by September of last year. Ha! Needless to say, things took a little longer I expected.
I felt like my ex-husband (I will now refer to him as my “ex-husband” when writing) prolonged the process by doing things like not turning in paperwork and taking over two months to drive five minutes to actually sign the divorce papers. I feel that he was taking his time as a way of being controlling, and I do believe I did let him control me for a while. But over time, I grew and learned what he was doing. However, even though I knew what was happening, I did not fight or rush him, because I knew that would prolong the process even more.
I am very fortunate that we were able to get this divorce without any major fighting, we still talk to each other about things relating to our kids without arguing (well, at least 90 percent of the time). I am very lucky in that sense, because divorce can get very, very messy financially and emotionally. Although I did not do it on purpose, I think that waiting to start the process actually helped tame my emotions.
Living alone for a year and a half and just reflecting on me and my life has been an amazing journey of discovery, growth, and progress.
While my new status as being divorced closes one chapter of my life, it also opens a blank page on a new chapter. I know and believe that this new chapter will be filled with fulfillment, purpose, and happiness. I have much love for every person that has interacted with me on my journey; you have helped me in more ways than you know.