How Affair Sites Are Ruining Marriage

You may have heard this excuse: Humans weren’t meant to be monogamous. “It’s unnatural”. The “theory” behind this excuse is that monogamy was acceptable when we only lived to be 30, but our lifespans have roughly tripled, so we can’t be expected to stay with just one person all those years. And as if it weren’t bad enough that unfaithful spouses have tried to justify their actions with this nonsense, online affair sites are cropping up every day and promoting the same idea. If you’re not familiar with these services, buckle your seat belt before you read any further.

Hundreds of sites exist that not only encourage married people to have affairs, but make money off the prospect by charging for membership. They’re just like online dating sites, except they cater to married members, and use taglines like, “Life is short. Have an affair.” which comes from the best known of these sites, Ashley Madison. That site, and others like it, tell members it’s perfectly okay to be unfaithful to their spouses or partners.

With stories of celebrity affairs in the news so often, it’s easy to become numb to the sadness and devastation that infidelity causes. Ashton cheated on Demi. Tiger cheated on Elin. It’s been happening for years. One of the biggest scandals of the late ’50s was The Affair between Elizabeth Taylor and the still-married Eddie Fisher. The two eventually married, and while Taylor was known for a while as a home-wrecker, the scandal did little to diminish her popularity as an actress and celebrity.

As a society, we receive mixed messages about marriage and infidelity. We know it’s wrong, yet there don’t seem to be any real consequences outside possibly losing the relationship that is compromised by the affair, which is a risk borne by the adulterer alone. Even President Clinton was found to have been unfaithful (and he wasn’t the first president to be so), and yet he continued to be married and run the country like it was no big deal. Is this the message we want to send to the next generation?

Despite these very public stories of infidelity, they actually have little effect the every day married couple. Not so with affair sites. They bring infidelity much closer to home, offering ways to give in to temptation, and assisting in the endeavor. One site, Married Affair Guide, gives people instructions on how to have an affair, how to keep it secret, and even how to hide affair communications to avoid getting caught.

The argument could be made that if someone is going to be unfaithful, they’re going to do it whether they seek it out online or not. But does that justify sites like this that make it easy and create a safe environment for adulterers to find each other? Some may find it similar to sites that explain how to make a bomb. If someone wants to blow something up, they’ll find a way—but should we make it easy for people to blow up their marriages and destroy lives?

Some of these affair sites, like Discreet Adventures, even affiliate programs that allow website owners to earn commissions on every person they send to these sites seeking affairs. They offer an incentive for people to encourage infidelity in exchange for payment. Can you imagine that being done in person? Someone handing someone else a check for turning to the person beside them and saying, “Hey, want to have an affair? Here’s how!” It’s unthinkable.

The sad truth is that these sites will continue to exist and proliferate as long as people continue to use them, and they’re showing no signs of slowing growth. People who still believe in monogamy and want their relationships to succeed need to be even more vigilant about threats to their marriages, which more than ever include affair sites.

 

About the Author: Maria Davis is a freelance writer who writes on a variety of topics. She loves spending time with her family and curling up with a good book.

12 thoughts on “How Affair Sites Are Ruining Marriage”

  1. Perhaps you should pick a more trust worthy partner or be a better spouse, and these sites won’t be a problem. Not everyone uses them and if your partner is going to cheat, blame the person and the failing relationship, not the website.

    1. OP,
      Of course there is no way to blame a site for the actions of a husband or wife in cheating, I think the article is saying that sites are making it super convenient for people to cheat, thus impacting marriages.

      We still ultimately blame the person who cheated (my husband did not use these sites so I agree not everyone uses them), but sites that are created to ‘help’ people cheat sure don’t help marriages, which is what the article is explaining.

      Yes, we should pick more trust worthy partner, I am sure your partner is trustworthy, I would love to hear how you pick a partner that will never lie and never cheat, because as you might imagine, we don’t get married and invest our lives into someone that we think will cheat, if there was a way ensure that the person you choose is trustworthy, I am sure we would all do it.

  2. Pingback: How Affair Sites Are Ruining Marriage | lypubyboler

  3. I don’t think affair sites are ruining marriage per se but they certainly present a big temptation and I suppose the ease of access to a whole world of infidelity is mind boggling. Thinking of my husband, I think that without these kind of dating sites, he wouldn’t have met as many women as he did. But I’m sure he would still have managed to find like-minded people although perhaps not in the same numbers.

    This is the first time I write about my experience online and it feels good to put it somewhere public. I guess it’s anonymous, but it still feels good. I’ve only told two people so far as I find it so difficult to talk about. I guess I don’t want to break the illusion, as everyone keeps on telling me that we are such a perfect couple.

    I believed that myself. We only got married five months ago and I actually found out about my husband’s cheating ways little over a month after our wedding. We hadn’t even gone on our honeymoon at that point. It was so painful. I discovered that he had been chatting online with many women, talking about kinky things and exchanging photos. From what I could tell from the messages, he had also met some of these women, and most shockingly to me, he had even met them just a few days after our wedding. After we had made our vows to be open and honest.

    What hurts the most is that I am an open minded person and I’m not adverse to my husband having a relationship outside our marriage, provided that I know what is happening. And he knew that. But he still chose to break my trust. That really hurt.

    The good thing was that my husband was very remorseful and the day I found out about the cheating and told him about it, he took the rest of the day off work and came home to see me. He promised it would never happen again, that he would talk about it and make amends. I believed him and we had some amazing months building up our love and marriage again.

    Fast forward to last week and I discovered that his phone bill had a massive number of texts to many different numbers. Sure, it could have been something innocent as him texting his friends but I know my husband and he doesn’t text friends that frequently. Once I saw he had sent messages 14 times a day over several days, alarm bells started to ring. I confronted him and he told me that he was just trying to “cut off contact” but things “went back and forth”. I had to take it like that and concentrate on my work as I had some important things coming up but I knew that he was lying. There were too many inconsistencies.
    – why was he “cutting off contact” now, months after I found out about it?
    – why was it necessary to cut contact in the first place? Surely he should have just deleted the numbers and blocked them.
    – even if he was cutting contact as he said, I doubted that there would be so many messages going back and forth.

    I confronted him again once I was less busy and after a lot of digging, it turns out he lied to me. Again. So he started chatting to these ladies again it seems. I told him that he must tell me about it in the future, because I will find out. I’m good with technology and it’s not easy to fool me. However, I’m not sure if he will. I have a bad feeling that this is something I need to live with as long as I stay with him.

    I have thought about leaving my husband but I still feel that all the good times we have outweigh his cheating ways. I know that what he does to me is terrible, but in every other way, he is a perfect husband. We have the most amazing relationship. It just makes me sad that there is a cheating streak in him. It makes me wonder if it is genetic, as his father was a big cheat and liar that broke his parent’s marriage (although the difference there is his father has no remorse).

    It has been good to get this off my chest. It still makes me terribly sad that the perfect relationship I thought I had is no more. I also don’t know what I should really do. My husband promises me that he will tell me next time he gets tempted to cheat but I’m not sure I can believe him.

    1. Francesca,

      Thanks for sharing. I understand what you are saying, especially that although you do not blame the sites, it presents a huge temptation. It’s like right there in the face.

      I know exactly how you feel when you say that you are open to an open relationship, and he still kept it a secret – why!! You gave him every opportunity to be open, and he still kept it a secret.

      And it seems like he is still keeping secrets, but your relationship outside of this is amazing. Maybe you bring up the conversation again about openness in the relationship. In my opinion, if you are open to that, it is much safer to have that type of set up out and in the open versus hiding.

      Also, I would not trust his “I won’t do it again, or I will let you know” Only trust his actions. If he is really serious and you can afford it, he should go to counseling to understand why he has these urges so that he can manage it better. Best of luck to you.

  4. Dear Jewels,

    Thank you so much for your encouragement. It really helps me a lot to share my thoughts and you are right, I should not trust his “I won’t do it again”. I told him that just telling me that doesn’t mean anything to me yesterday and I think we made a lot of progress as my husband readily agreed to go for couple counselling and he also thought maybe he could benefit from therapy for himself to overcome the impluses he has. I am feeling very positive from this. Of course, only time will tell whether it will be effective but I think it’s been a big step towards fostering the openess I want in our relationship and building the trust that we used to have.
    Thank you again!

  5. Hi everyone,
    I am new not only to this website but also to using a computer so i hope you will forgive all the mistakes and misspelled words i am sure i will make.
    I have read the stories and so many of them could be my story as well.I have been married for 24 years and finely found the love of my life but i have to back up just a bit this is my second marriage my first husband was all i ever wanted in a man but i married when i was only 15 years old he was in the Air Force and after only 2 months of marriage he had to go overseas and was gone for 18 months while he was gone one of his friends wrote me a letter i had sent my new husband a letter and sent pictures of myself to him all fully dressed and he showed me around to all his friends but this one guy his name is burned in my memory forever sent me a letter and he said he really hated to send this to me but wanted me to know he knew by my picture i was very young and very pretty and he told me my husband was living with a woman and had been for a year me being so young wondered why he didn’t send more money home to me but he said it cost so much to live over there it took everything he had to just get by.When he came home i told him about the letter and who wrote it and then showed it to him he cried and said he was so sorry and didn’t want to lose me and it would never happen again i bought it all so young and so in love.The first 4 years were the best ever he stayed stateside and i loved being married but wanted a baby so bad he left many times through this time for a couple of months at a time called TDY when he came back after us being married 4 years i was going to have a baby that is when he changed he started hitting me and kicking me everyday in spite of that i had our baby girl only 6 months after the birth of my baby girl I again was going to have a baby that’s when he really changed the abuse went on everyday and lot’s of nights i could never leave the house if he missed and hit me where people could see he was good he only hit me where it would not show.He told me he knew people that would kill me if i ever told so i kept my mouth shut and stayed married to him for 19 years and 9 months then i got a divorce he always told me that nobody would ever want me but after only being divorced 2 months i moved in with my now husband i didn’t trust men at all only family members but i love this man and after 2 years we married he has always been so good to me it was when we were living together that a drunk driver ran a red light and hit me head on i have had many back surgery’s and neck surgery’s the doctors told me i would never walk but i do i fall sometimes and if i am close to something i can pull myself up.But due to the wreck i am disabled for life and don’t remember what it even feels like not to be in pain 24 hours a day the reason for me telling you this is because only 2 months latter we married he told me he didn’t care if he had to puch me in a wheel chair for the rest of or lives that’s when i knew he would love me and treat me like a queen and always be faithful to me.But i was wrong he drove a big rig and was gone 3 weeks out of a month for the first couple years of our marriage i can’t prove it but i know he was not true to just me it would be little things like cig. in the ashtray would have lipstick on them and receipts where he paid for two people to eat not one.But 3 years ago this December he got on Facebook and found an old friend girl of course but they didn’t say a word to me for months then the other women was brought into our lives and she made me think she was my friend she called our home and would talk to me everyday and most nights also i would get tired of talking to her so i would give the phone to my husband which he would say no no he didn’t want to talk to her he would mouth the words to me and i bought it all of it.Then something else changed i always had to shake him every morning to go to work i always got up with him and we had coffee before he left for the day but it changed i never had to get him up anymore and most time because i would not here the alarm because he always shut it off before it started to ring i thought how sweet because he was letting me sleep because my nights i am up off and on all through the day and night what i didn’t know is she was calling him at work and when i would call he was always busy and could not be on the phone long little did i know it was her on the phone with him everybody at the job site knew about it but me.Then one night i had put a new rug down in the hall way from our bedroom and forgot about it and with my left foot i have no feeling in it all the way to my hip it’s dead too much nerve damage and when my foot hit that rug down i went i tried to grab the side of my wall and it has all the bumpy paint on the walls my head hit the wall and i was out cold for 2 months i had a large lump on my forehead right above the eyebrow i also hit my chin and my hands i was bleeding all over the place he picked me up i am still out cold and put me in my chair he cleaned my face up some and when i came to he said i am going to bed i have to be at work early in the morning so he went to bed i don’t know much about medical things but i do know you should not sleep when you have hit your head as hard as i did so i turned the TV on and he closed his door next thing i know the phone is ringing and it was his cell phone so i tried to get it before it shut off but i didn’t make it so i just prayed that God would show me how to get his missed calls so if he needed to go to work i would get him up if not i would let him sleep i have never so much as touched his phone but there was so many text messages from him to her and her to him and how much they loved each other and wanted to be together and found out that there is such a thing as phone sex wow was i hurt and mad i was shaking so bad i didn’t know if i could stop or not I used his phone and called her and told her i knew everything and she said i had it all wrong well the job my husband had closed down and he went back to collage a 2 hour drive there and back well he sent her an email and told her it was over and never call or text or email him or myself ever again and again i bought it.Well i had a tiny PC i could get emails and open them and write an email and send it and that is all i could do so while he was in his cave where the big pc is at he let me use his but gave me a different email password and i have no idea what his is and once my little pc got fixed he gave me back mine and took his bigger one back only one thing he had to get to work because we had moved where he was going to collage and he could not be late but the little problem was all of his information was on my little pc and all of mine was on his and so i looked and there she was but again i am getting ahead of myself before this before we moved and before he told her they were done i had found on his pc while he was 2 hours away from her telling him to hide my heart pills and she would find a way out of her 24 year marriage so when i seen that he was still writing to her after that alone if i had to have had one of my heart pills and didn’t get it i would not be here so when i seen that he and i got into it again and he said it was an invasion of his privacy for me to read his emails well i don’t know hoe to use a copy machine either but we have one and i prayed again and i was able to do it like i had done it all my life and made 3 copy’s and gave one to him.
    So when i seen that he would even email a person that wanted me dead i feel apart my health is really bad i don’t know if you can die from a broken heart but ever since i found that i have stayed sick i have had 2 more surgery’s now there is a problem with my colon so i see a GI doctor and he has done two scopes one each month then sent me to a colon surgeon and he sent me back to my GI doctor and said he would have to have him scope me one more time before he would do surgery on me my apt, was June the 1st. But i canceled it because i am feeling some better but because i have been so sick my teeth are falling out and the ones that are left hurt and are cracked so i now have to see a dentist now and will have to have all my teeth pulled and have dentures put in but he is sending me to an oral surgeon he will pull them and put the dentures right in i guess that’s better than what i have now all i can eat is pudding and drink boosts and soup anything that has to be chewed i can’t do it.
    Even though my heart is broken i feel numb like i knew this was coming now when i pray i ask god to heal our marriage if it is his will not mine.
    I don’t know if i will ever be able to trust him again or for that matter any man he is being good to me always has been i am a very small woman only 105 pounds and 5 foot tall he is a tad over 6 foot he always brings a set stool for me to get in our truck he always opens the door for me always holds my hand where ever we go helps around the house cooks when i can’t and since December i have been able to do very little so the load falls on his shoulders and he never complains.
    One of the big problems is his family they all hate me they will only call when he is at work if it’s something big they will call him at home but i have to leave the room i go to our bedroom or outside and walk as careful as i can down the 2 flights of stairs they are all best friends with this other woman when i tried to explain to them why i don’t want my husband to have any contact they want prof they want me to sent the papers i made copy of and while my husband was sitting in his chair next to mine i said if you can’t take you brothers word that in fact he did do that and that she did write what she did then my husband told his 2 sisters and his Mom he did do everything i said and he did have phone sex with her they still hate me but they have for a very long time and that’s because of there Dad but that is a story i will have to explain about another time i am tired and feel so drained because this is the only time i have ever told anybody the whole story.
    Thanks for reading this and if anything becomes of this my one wish would be that it might help just one person.I know what it is like to be alone even with him sitting right next to me and how alone i feel all the time and lot i feel so lost i feel like my best friend has died but yet i can still see and here him i thought love was not supposed to hut but this is a hurt that no matter what i do it just will not go away. I wish i could have been a better wife but i can’t undo what i have already done.
    Can you die from a broken heart i guess i will have to wait and see and lean on God more and more.

    1. Hello Kat,

      Sorry to hear about your situation. It seems like you came out of a very unhealthy relationship before and got with someone else within 2 months. It feels like you haven’t had time in your life to find yourself, your own voice. As far as your current husband, you can not change him, nor can you change the way his family treats you, but you can change your attitude towards it. You can make a promise to yourself to love yourself more than any other man can love you. It starts with you, if you do not feel worthy of love and affection, then others will have a hard time doing it for you. How does your family treat and support you? I would spend time with them if they are encouraging in nature. I would spend a good amount of time thinking about your wants and needs and what type of life that you want to live, and then start making small strides towards that, knowing that you can not force your husband to do things. Take care!

  6. Hi Jewels,
    Thank you for your advise i am trying to do just what you said but it has been so long that i have heard anything good about myself except for my husband when i thought he was being true and my Mom and Dad my Sister and my Brother all protected me from the outside world my Dad is gone now as my Brother is also gone my Mom is in her 80’s she had me when she was done haveing children but i came along and she can no longer drive but just to the very small town where i came from where everybody knows everybody else and my Sister God love her also has protected me my whole life i was never able to even drive alone till i married the first time and my Dad made me wait till i was 16 to even drive the 8 miles to our small town even though i was married i had no clue at all what being married even ment i was still just a baby myself playing house.I thought i knew what love was but looking back i really never understood one thing about being married but as time went by i did fall deeply in love with my first husband he was my world till i started having our 2 children that’s when he started abuseing me but i took it and stayed for the kids which i know now was so wrong but i can’t change that fact i can only put one foot in front of the other soon i was able to love again and boy i loved my husband with all my heart he always treated me so good and gave his love to me so free even after my wreck when he said he wanted me as his wife even it he had to push my wheel chair for the rest of our lives.I knew then I wanted to be his wife forever.But to get back to your question about spending more time with my Sister and Mom i would love that but i can’t my Mom does not remember one day to the next anymore and wants to live alone but she has told me i could come live with her but she would never be happy if i did and my Sister we get along great she was my Mom when i was a new born even though she was only 8 when i came along she too married young to her first husband only 16 i missed her so much and never liked her husband but he divorced her sent her a dear jane letter she married a second time and i didn’t like him either then she married a 3rd time to her first husband but she divorced him after seven years and is now married to her 4th husband and i do like him he treats her the way she should be treated he works hard for the little money they have he works in the woods cutting down trees and taking them to a saw mill it’s hard work but you will never here him complain he also is a preacher he was mine till we moved away it will be 3 years this December and they live in a singel trailer on a little patch of land my Dad gave them so she is just up the hill from our Mom and she looks after her.My Sister would love to have me but they just don’t have the room they are raiseing my Brother in law grandson and there is only two bedrooms.
    She is always working doing things her husband can’t do because of his work in the woods so it’s rare she ever gets away and me being 2 hours away and me being told not to drive taht is that but we talk or text on the phone everyday.My husband leaves early in the morning going to firetraing school at his job he is on the fire team it’s a big company pays good and medical could not be better there are only two companys in the world where my husband works here where we live the other overseas
    He has been off the past 5 days but still i felt alone i know i should not feel this way but i am happy he will be gone and i will be alone but it is scary at the same time just 3 months ago he kept trying to text me but i never answered and then he said he started calling but i never answered then he called my Mom and Sister and they told him no they had not heard from me that day so they started calling but again i never answered he told the guys at work that something was very wrong because i always would answer my texts or phone calls i had taken a shower and must have taken a fall half in the tub shower and half out i only remember coming to and seeing i had no clothes on so i stood and boy the pain was awful but i got dressed and remember saying i would just go set in my chair but once i started to walk i knew i would never make it to our liveing room so i went to our bed room it was right next to the bath room so i got in bed and remember nothing else except what i am told he said he came home and was screaming my name the whole time but i never answered he found me in our bed i had lost all body funchions i noe i spelled that wrong but when he found me i had foam coming out of my mouth and my lips were turning bule he could not find a pulse so he did CPR something they are all trained on at his job now he got me back but i would not let him take me to the hospital i still have bruses all over my sides and back and they look like they are there to stay.
    # days latter i could not move and he didn’t ask this time he picked me up and carried me down the stairs and drove the 2 hour drive in a little less then 1 and a half hours my doctor was waiting for me i don’t remember any of this only what i have been told once i came to in the hospital i was aware of someone sitting next to my bed it was my doctor i asked him if i was dieing and told him i wanted the truth and he said yes i was going into kiddney and liver failure i told my husban and my Mom and Sister and Brother in law goodby and i would say hi to Dad and my Brother for them i was ready but God wasn’t i am no stranger to dieing i have died once in our driveway on Christmas eve before the ambulance could even get out of our drive way i had a grand mal sesizure this time when i came to i knew the man looking at me was a doctor but i didn’t know my name or any of the questions he asked me he sent my whole family in 2 at a time and asked if i knew them i didn’t i just wished he would stop sending these strangers in to my room .
    The only one that got there latter was my sister and she always calls me baby she came to my room and stood in the hall way and asked me if i knew her she was dressed in all white and i smiled yes this i do remember i said you are my angel and you are here to take me back to heaven big tears rolled down her face and she said no baby i am your Sister and just like that i knew everybody and the questions the doctor asked i knew them all.
    I will not bore you with the details but i have died 2 more times while in the hospital while they wear doing surgery on my back but once again the last time was this past 9 months they were running a test on my gal bladder and i watched the whole thing the man doing the test said oh no you don’t not on my watch and started screaming for help i kept telling him i was fine but he never heard me then i seen myself still sitting in my little chair and rapid responce was there and again brought me back.
    This is the only reason i am a bit scared to stay alone but i have a DNR now my husband was able to get them to save me even though i had the DNR then too so i hope if it happens again i am taken and fast during my sleep time i have been sick for so long and even as a baby i was always sick i am so tired i fight hard as i can and still do but when it is my time i will be ready.
    I am so tired of living in pain everyday of my life and falling down doesn’t matter where it’s at i get very embarrassmentnot for me but for who i am with.
    I do love my husband and want our marriage to work but i know i will never be able to forget what he has done and the guilt he puts on me for him cheating and says phone sex is not the same as haveing sex body to body but i don’t agree he cheated and he knows it and i know it.
    I can stay in a loveless marriage with what doctors tell me i may not be here much longer anyway and at least i would have medical and someone to get me to the hospital the reason i would want to be at the hospital is because i don’t want to go and have such bad pain i want then to just let me go but take the pain go away till God calls my name.
    I am so sorry for everyone on here i wish i could fix everybodys marriage mine as well but i can’t.
    Thanks for your support i am doing the best i can i don’t even know for shure if i even love him anymore as a husband but i do know i love him as a person.
    I thank you Jewels,
    I know you don’t have to write to me or waste your time reading my posts but you did and i can never tell you how much it means to me to have someone in my cornor and here on this site i feel i can write what i want to and i am not scared to write about how i feel.
    Take care.
    Kat.

  7. Hi all,
    I know you can’t blame all the websites like facebook and so on for your husband to cheat i blame my husband for what he has done to us but facebook sure made it a lot more easy for him to hook up with an oul girlfriend he knew when they were 15 but really they never were boyfriend grilfriend only knew each other from school.I am not a mean person but this woman called me sent me texts and emails everyday for three months now these are her words not mine she goes to the things wear you dress up in the old war days live in tents ride horses knights the whole thing i think it’s pretty neet but it’s the things she told me yes she is married at that time had been married for 24 years 4 children her husband didn’t like to go to these things so she went alone and she said she slept with every man there at least once and some more then others.
    Thats when my husband found her and thats when the phone sex started he says it’s no big deal but yes it is she was ready to have me knocked off and get rid of her husband and live with my husband in a tent if they had to and i don’t have a right to be mad at him or her yes i do he broke my heart and i don’t think it will ever mend i am tired of being the one blamed for what he did .Because i couldn’t carry out my wifely duites for pete sake i was sick and he knew it and i still am doctors will not give me a stright answer if i am dieing or not and he knows this and knows the doctors said no sex but for i am glad for that i want no part of that with him now maybe never.

    1. Hello Kat!

      Hope you had a better day, yes some of the sites are where cheaters find a person to cheat with, but at the same time facebook causes people to find lost brothers and sisters, and other positive things, so it’s both a plus and a minus. The sites that are all about affairs are the ones that are really causing problems.

      I know you mentioned family is not an option, which simply means you have to find yourself where you are. You have focused on your husband and your health for so long that you believe it defines you as a person, it does, you are more than your husband, more than your health. Look within and think about your interests beyond your situation. If you like watching artwork, do that. If you like reading, do that, get back to you, focus on your wants and needs, and do it to the best of your ability. That is where your happiness will come from, it is still there, just have to pull it out of you through acts of kindness towards yourself. Take Care!

  8. Hi Jewles,
    OncI am so scared of men because all they have ever done is hurt me i am not looking for anybody else e again thank you i know your right i just feel stuck and the past few days i have been in so much pain i can’t seam to find myself let alone anything or anybody even my husband i am glad he is gone for now because it gives me more time to think i know now i will never change him i can’t i only have control over myself and that’s no easy job let me tell you.
    I know you speak of other sites now i will show how really dumb i really am i have no clue at all about the sites you speak of the only one i know about is Facebook. I am not looking for anybody else don’t know if i will ever open up enough to let another man in my life just for more pain and i am happy just to be alone which i am even if my husband is sitting right next to me in his chair i am still alone.
    If that doesn’t take the cake i don’t know what would.
    Thanks for your help Jewls i am hearing you loud and clear and i am thinking like i have never thought before so what you are telling me is sticking i don’t even have to take notes.
    Take care and thank you it still spins my head that people out there are so kind i never knew that before kindness should be my middle name because i am a very loving person and care about others and try my best to be kind to everyone i cross paths with it’s the only thing i know i am good to everyone but myself and i blame me but no more i am going to put the blame on who and where it belongs but not me not anymore you have taught me that.
    I thank you for your kindness and your loving sprit.
    Kat

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