Elin and Tiger – Same Story, Different Cast – Part II

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In part I of this two part series, I talked about how Elin’s interview reminded me that the pain of finding out your husband committed infidelity is universal. Today, I will talk about how having money and being famous impacts you when you find out your husband cheated.

Although this isn’t always the case, typically when a famous married person is involved in a cheating scandal, they very rarely stay married (or live in the same house) with their partner for very long. When you have money, you can literally leave the next day and get away from everything that reminds you of the affair. This isn’t so for most of us “regular women”; for us, the husband is usually in the same house the day, week, and often for many months after he cheats. Needless to say, this causes tension and drama. I feel like one of the main reasons divorces get messy is because people stay under the same roof while experiencing very intense negative emotions (usually for financial reasons). On a positive note, living under the same roof after the affair sometimes gives the both of you a chance to talk to and better understand each other.

Money also helps protect a wife of a cheating husband from these emotions in another way. When you have money, you can afford to go away for a week or so (with or without your husband) and just think about the situation. Most of us can’t do this. We have obligations like kids, family issues, jobs, and more that we have to handle while working through the problems infidelity causes. And even if you do have money to get away, the needs of your kids may limit the amount of “think time” you have.

Lastly, when you have money, you can pay for top therapists to help you individually and as a couple. I think going to a great therapist who specializes in couples or marriage counseling can do wonders for your recovery efforts. Unfortunately, if you don’t have money (or at least insurance that covers therapy), this isn’t often an option.

There are pros and cons to having money and dealing with an affair, but again, the pain is universal no matter how much money you have.

  • Sylvia October 30, 2011, 11:44 AM

    I don’t know how this will work, because for now I am forgiving my fiancé and working through things with him. But if he breaks my trust a second time, my plan would be to tell him to leave immediately and go stay with the other woman. Financially, yes it would be a struggle, but our son and I could stay with family, and then I don’t feel badly that he might or might not be on the streets. If anyone should leave, it’s him. Once a man’s affair hits reality, once he sees his lover in the harsh light of day, once she has to deal with his true faults, maybe then, they learn that they made a mistake.
    My fiancé reflects sometimes on the celebrities who stayed together: Bill and Hillary Clinton, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni, David Boreanaz and his wife. And then I remind him of the ones who separated or divorced. Elizabeth Edwards, Maria Shriver, Elin Nordegren… In a way, I am proud of those women who had the autonomy and strength and self-confidence to walk away from a man who didn’t respect them. Who knows how long they had to deal with that? Some of us (myself included) aren’t emotionally strong enough to pack our bags and leave with our heads held high. I’d like to think that we each take our time and go through it at our own pace. And it does not make any of the wives who stayed weak. But it makes me smile to hear about the women who left. They remind men everywhere that there will always be consequences for their infidelity.

    • Jewels November 6, 2011, 5:10 PM

      Hello Syvia,

      I think you should give yourself more credit 🙂 You found out, told your fiancé it can never happen again, and also created a backup plan if it does happen, which is very, very smart. You are correct in that women who stay are not weak. Women who stay, and end up being happy are incredibly strong, and women that leave a situation where they are being disrespected are strong. It’s such a hard decision, but as long as you make how you feel a priority, you will make the right choice. Good luck!

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