Do All Men Cheat?

One could easily come to this site, see the hundreds of stories and wonder, “Do all men treat their wives like this?” The answer is no. I have also been fortunate enough to interact with several men who have contacted me privately, devastated that their wives have cheated on them. I can tell from their emails that they are in terrible pain over the ordeal, much like the wives on this site. And with each email like this I receive, I remember that there are good men out there.

I stated off this year by asking the universe to show me evidence that there are good men out there, and I received it. One such man talked to me about my ex-husband in an airport when we were stuck waiting for our flight for two hours. He was so horrified at my ex’s actions that he was almost in tears, saying he couldn’t live with the pain he would cause his wife of thirty years if he did that to her. I have also met men who are confident and willing to be open and honest, so much so that I get the sense they are fulfilled in their marriages and lives and do not feel the need to cheat. That doesn’t mean they are not capable of cheating; it just means that, at this present moment, I do not believe they have cheated. But everyone is capable; you never know how you will react in a situation until you are in it. The days of believing that someone would never cheat are over for me.

With that said, I honestly do not think that the majority of our husbands or ex-husbands are bad people who were planning to lie and cheat on us. Of course, some cheaters are just liars and bad people, but some cheaters just hit a point in their lives where they want their egos stroked. They thought sex with another woman would give them the fulfillment they wanted, or that they could handle an emotional affair, but it backfired, and the wife is left trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered marriage. I am in no way excusing cheating behavior, just trying to make a point that all men that cheat are not bad people.

So, while all men don’t cheat, many do, and the only thing I can hope for is that married couples get better at being more open with each other. I think if cheating men learn to open up to their wives about how they are feeling, they would be surprised at how they can work out their problems.

So to all the husbands out there who are faithful, cheers to you!

6 thoughts on “Do All Men Cheat?”

  1. While too many do cheat, fortunately their are good men who restrain themselves, despite their desires to cheat, becasue of a deep sense of ethics or knowing what would happen if they were caught.

  2. Lets not forget that cheating is not just physicaly.. It includes the mind and the heart as well.. If the desire is there within the heart and mind then its cheating as well.. Please dont justify it with “as long as he doesnt do it..” or “its just a phase”..
    If true love comes from the heart and its noticed as something sincere… Then how come its not when desires or the fantasy of cheating is there??

  3. sorry about that… I messed up on my comment on the last part.. I meant to say that..
    If love comes from the heart its always noticed as sincere and belivable.. The how come when it comes to the desire of cheating it isnt? When all feelings start from the mind and the heart??

  4. I was tought as a young girl that all men cheat; it has stayed in my mind and I have seen it/ been through it many times. I am going to be getting married soon, the problem is, of which my soon to be husband does not know much of, is that I do not trust that he will be faithfull; he has given me NO reason to not trust him, in fact he is very open with me. This lack of trust that I have comes from family teachings, movies, friends, my own relationships, and society in general. I am worried that if I share this fear with him, he will honestly think I am connecting my worries to him as a person, where in reality I just have the view that all men cheat. What can I do to help cool down my worries?

    1. Catty – The first thing you do is not come back on this site lol – it will make you question his every move. Like I stated, I do not think all men cheat. But the reality is you can not predict if your husband is going to cheat. So if I were in your shoes, here is exactly what I would do.

      Live, have fun, and enjoy the moments that you have with your soon to be husband. Someone told me before I was married that this is a wonderful time in your life, but make you have your own little thing going on. Don’t lose yourself in the marriage because it is not promised. I didn’t listen, and totally lost myself within the marriage.

      So he has not giving you any indication – great – go with it, does that mean have 100% trust that he will not cheat – no. What is does mean is that he has not given you any indication, so live your life with that and be in love, enjoy it. If he give you an indication other wise, address it at that time, not now. No need worrying about what might be, enjoy the moment you have, because the future is not promised, so do not worry about him cheating, worry about is he fulfilling your needs, is he making you happy and are you able to be yourself with him. Cheating – you can not control whether he decided to do that in the future – so take advantage that he is not now and go forward – and remember no more coming to this site (unless he gives you a reason to, which I sincerely hope never happens).

      **Oh, you might also benefit from going to couples therapy. People always wait when there are major problems, which is typically too late. Go now if he is willing, because a good therapist will be able to help both of you understand each other and help deal with those type of fears. I will tell you right now if me and my husband would of done that earlier in the relationship, it probably would of saved the marriage. Take Care!!

      Linda – You are right, cheating is not just physical, it is mental. Not sure if cheating always comes from the heart, sometimes it starts with the mind, but from a place of lust and greed and selfishness, not from the heart. Do emotions get involved, yes, cheaters often get caught up and can express feelings from the heart. Either way you look at it is cheating, emotionally or physical.

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