Ah…what lengths most of our husbands will go through to keep the affair going. Before I created this site, if someone were to tell me the following story, I would have said what kind of sick person would go to such great lengths to lie and be deceptive. Until that ‘person’ ended up being my husband (now ex-husband), and surprisingly, many cheating husbands.
After I found out about the affair, we were in ‘recovery mode’, trying to work on the marriage. My husband at the time came home from work and put his phone down, which was different from his normal phone. By the time I walked over to get the phone, he grabbed it.
About two weeks before this situation came up, I told him that I was going to stop being paranoid about the cheating, stop trying to check his phone/email and just try to focus on the marriage. We argued about the phone, and of course he had a lie for why he had it (special work project), but I never got to actually see the phone.
One week later I found out he was still cheating. I put two and two together and realized that he had a second phone that he used to communicate with the OW. At the time, I was thinking, “Just tell me you don’t love me and leave! Why go through all this?” He wanted the wife, house and kids, and the woman on the side. What kind of person did I marry?
The only reason I am writing this post is because at the time, I thought my husband was the only one in the world that actually get a second phone to keep up the affair (who does that?). Now, after interacting with women for years on this topic, the ‘second phone’ is more common than I would expect. Sometimes I think there is a ‘cheating handbook’ that is passed around; the similarities in techniques are strangely similar.