It is amazing how such a small device can cause so much drama. Within marriages all over the world, there is this debate over access to cell phones in marriage. On one hand, there are those that think that a marriage means that you are joined as one, therefore, you should have access to each others cell phone, at any time. Matter of fact, I know some couples that answer each others phone.
One the other hand, there are those that say that I do not need to see your cell phone, because I trust you, and there is not a reason for me to go looking in your personal cell phone. Unless you give me a reason, and if that happens, I will check.
Then there are those that believe that looking at each other’s cell phone are off limits, completely.
It’s not an easy conversation, the cell phone conversation. It’s not an organic conversation that will come up on it’s own “Hi honey, dinner smells good, would you mind if I see your phone?”
For us ladies, we are also dealing with male ego, which gets in the way of the conversation as well ‘my phone, my personal phone, my power’…ect.
At the end of the day, most cheaters are caught by either ell phone or computer (the computer I will discuss on another day). And I find it strange that it is a such a taboo topic in relationships. Well, I take that back. It is not strange, because it is a very difficult topic, and it triggers all kinds of power struggle and trust issues. So what do most people do? They don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about, at all. Most couples never have a conversation about cell phone communication until it’s a problem.
Honestly, I do not know the answer to the question of what is the right level of transparency in cell phone interaction in a marriage. I caught my husband by looking at his cell phone. Of course at the time I didn’t realize it, but for the most part (except for this one time), he had that darn thing tied to his hips like it was a hip bone or something. That should of raised my eyebrows but it didn’t. What is the right level of engagement with cell phones and married couples? I know after one has cheated, trust has to be rebuilt and the best way to do that is full transparency. But what about prior?
I think each married couple should engage in a conversation around cell phone interaction and transparency. It’s a difficult and uncomfortable conversation, but it just might save you drama down the road. Curious to hear what others feel around this topic.