Although I want to leave my husband because of his cheating, I am really, really dreading being a single parent. The thought of raising two kids on my own is overwhelming.
You see, I am not one of these “good moms.” I have to give it up to all of those stay-at-home moms who take care of their kid’s day in and day out. I don’t have that skill set. I didn’t realize how hard being a parent can be before I had my first child. The work never ends. It tests you in every way. And for me in particular, I am always feeling like a bad mom. I work during the day, come home, cook, take a bath, spend some time with my kids, and then go to bed. I don’t have much time to do anything else.
I have about two or three hours with my kids before bedtime and it is always a struggle. My three-year-old will just not go to sleep without a fight. After everything I’ve been through with the affair, I don’t want to fight anymore! But no matter what I do, I can’t get control of her. She raises her voice and wants things her way. I try spanking, time out, yelling, and nothing seems to work. I know I need to be more consistent with my approach to her, but it is hard. And on top of it all, I feel guilty for getting irritated at her because I’ve only spent a few hours with her all day. And don’t even get me started on my eight-month-old!
To all those moms (especially single moms) who have their kid disciplined and listening to them when they’re toddlers, CHEERS TO YOU! PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!
As you can see, I’m not the most confident mom. My family doesn’t live close, so it’s not like I can drop the kids off at Grandma’s when I need a break. So the thought of doing double duty as a parent is terrifying! I have got to get confident that I can watch them alone before I leave.
On the plus side, my cheating husband is very active with the kids and helpful when dealing with them. To be honest, I think he secretly knows that he has to help or I will go off the deep end, and he doesn’t want that for the kids!
Adultery impacts families in such negative ways.