After the Affair – Has Your Job Cheated On You Too?

After the affair, something changed in how I look at work. Basically, the BS that I (and every other employee everywhere) have to deal with there just got on my nerves a little more than it ever had before. Every time I have a day like I did today where something makes me so upset that I can’t get it out of my mind, I think about what type of work I really should be doing. No matter what you think or what people may tell you, it’s never too late to change careers—never.

I think my husband’s affair caused me to rethink everything about my life, even my career. When I did, I realized something really important: your job can cheat on you as well. Basically, you can have a job for several years where you work hard and put a lot of effort into making sure the company does well. Then, without a moment’s notice, you’re laid off. Fortunately, this hasn’t happened to me, but I can imagine that people in situations like this feel cheated on. When I think about how this must feel for them, I realize that I don’t want to be cheated on again—by a person or a company.

So I guess I need to figure out what work I should be doing, because judging from the day I just had, it is not what I am doing now. Sometimes when we’re frustrated with a situation, our frustration is a sign that we need to change that situation.

I’ll see what the future holds.

3 thoughts on “After the Affair – Has Your Job Cheated On You Too?”

  1. It will be a year in November since I found out about my husbands affair. It turned my life upside down. I’ve never felt pain like that in my life..the closest pain I can compare is the miscarriage of our first born years ago. Everything I felt,believe and thought slipped from under me and I didn’t know what to think. We have since reconciled and renewed our marriage vows. I still can’t believe what kind of woman will knowingly sleep with a married man. I found out my husbands other woman was Andrea an old high school friend who he ran into at a restaurant. She knew he was married and dud not hesitate to pursue him. Granted my husband is most at fault because he was the one married but as a woman I would think one would have some self respect. I learned that she is a never been married single mother who lives with her mother because she can’t afford to live on her own. She does not have a career and heard she was going back to school to be a teacher..my profession! She is even older than me and not very attractive according to the people that saw her Facebook profile. I realize she is a desperate, immature,woman who lacks self esteem and is eager to get married. ( I know this cuz I found an old phone my husband had and SHE asked him to marry her about 3 months into the affair)add delusional to my description of her. I found out when I saw a desperate text from her on my husbands phone. In it she was telling him that he wasn’t returning her calls,that she wondered if she was ever going to see him, if he cared. Saying she was going to commit suicide. Add crazy to the description of Andrea.That made me think he was honest when he said he
    was trying to end it with her. I have never written what happened down . It feels somewhat deliberating. It’s been a long hard road after betrayal but he’s bending over backward to show how sorry and stupid he was to have an affair with this poor excuse for a woman.

    1. Hello Sonia,

      I have a hard time understanding it as well. I personally feel that like you said, women with low self-esteem that can not get a man fully try very hard to get a part of our husbands. And while I do agree that the husband is ultimatley at fault, it’s a shame that we have women so willing to have affairs. My friend Toni described it as woman on woman crime.

      Dealing with the affair has been the most difficult pain I have ever went through as well.It’s so hard to describe unless you have been through it. I am glad that you and your husband made it and I wish you many more years of success in your marriage, it’s good that he is sorry for what he did.

  2. Thank you . As you said only one who has experienced this will know the pain it brings. Today is the firts year anniversary of the day I found out. I decided to take the day off work to create new memories with my husband…It’s been a very hard year…sometimes I wonder will I ever get over it…I don’t cry anymore or think about it as much but it’s always there in one corner of my mind.

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