Ladies, today I would like to shed some insight into the topic of the other woman (OW). As wives, we are often shocked that another woman would have an affair with our husband without a care in the world. What type of woman would do that? The hard core truth is that it is very easy to become the other woman. I understand that sometimes the OW will honestly not know the man she is dating is married. But often the OW is aware of the situation and will continue to cheat. Below are 7 reasons why:
1) Your husband constantly feeds her lies. He will tell the OW that he is separated, going through a divorce or that he is living with his wife for the sake of the kids. He will portray the wife as a low-life that he never should have married. Why? Because the OW wants to make herself feel better about cheating, and the more horribly the wife is portrayed, the better the OW feels about the situation.
2) The lies become her story, and she wants to believe them, so she chooses to observe what benefits her story. Instead of focusing on sleeping with a married man, she focuses on the lies that the husband tells her. And because she likes your husband’s company, she doesn’t push the buttons since she would rather not know the truth.
3) Because of the lies that she is being told by the husband, she has been set up to believe that she is ‘helping’ the marriage. She is fulfilling the husband’s desires so he doesn’t get frustrated and ‘just leave’.
4) She tells herself that the issues concerning the husband and the marriage are not ‘her’ issues because she is not married. She didn’t make the commitment, he did.
5) She wants a part time man. She is too busy (work, kids) to really entertain a full time relationship, so going out occasionally with a married man is the perfect solution. She doesn’t really care about the husband or the husband’s family. She wants to enjoy herself and have a good time, and if it happens to be with a married man, oh well. As long as she has a good time, she doesn’t care.
6) The husband treats the OW better than most other men would. The husband will buy her gifts, take her out to nice places, and make her feel special. And if she is not used to this type of treatment, she is not going to want to stop engaging with the husband; she enjoys the gifts and attention.
7) ‘Not my fault’ – many times the other woman will say that if your husband is straying. It’s not her fault that you are not making your husband happy and that someone else can. You should be a better wife.
I know some of this may be hard to read as the wife, but it’s important for me to shed some light on this perspective so that you can get an understanding of how another woman would knowingly sleep with your husband. Unfortunately, this mindset that I talk about above is very popular. And of course, when the OW realizes that she has been told a bunch of lies, she gets angry and often engages the wife to inform her of the affair.