2013 Theme – Reclaim Your Power!!

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2013 Theme – Reclaim Your Power!! post image

Photo courtesy of Bronson ABbott https://www.flickr.com/photos/blacktsuba/

Happy New Year!!!

This is the first day of 2013, and I am excited about all of the wonderful things that this year will bring.
I first want to say thanks to the community of women on this site. You have taught me one of the greatest universal truths, and that is that we are so much more the same than we are different. It doesn’t matter if you are married 1 year or 20, from the UK or US, we are all bonded in this journey of healing. Every single interaction that I have had through this site has helped me to heal, and taught me lessons in my own journey, and for that I am grateful.

2013

In 2013 my posts will include my regular messages around infidelity, but also will include empowering themes and messages. The site will have a yearly motivational theme along with a monthly motivational message catered towards personal growth and healing. My ultimate goal is the same – to have women know that they are not alone in this journey, and to empower women to heal, one day at a time (men are welcome in the journey as well).

With that said, the 2013 theme for the site is RECLAIM YOUR POWER. So often in life, as women, we give our power away, often times, subconsciously. We give our power away by constantly putting our needs last. We give our power away by consistently sacrificing our own happiness for family and kids. We give our power away when we talk to ourselves in a way that leaves us feeling alone and trapped.

I was this person. And I was miserable. I gave my power to anyone that was willing to take it. Not anymore. Through a process of self-reflection and healing, I reclaimed my power. And ironically, because I reclaimed my power, I am in a better position to give my full self to those I love.

No matter where you are in recovery, you can reclaim your power. You are much more powerful than you think.

If you decided to stay married and work on your marriage, that is a choice you made, feel good that you held the power to make that choice to work on the marriage, and without you making that choice, the marriage would be dissolved.

If you decided to leave, leave from a position of strength, knowing that your choice to leave is the right one for you, because you made it. Reclaim your power.

If your husband cheated and left with the other woman, reclaim your power to start a new life. A new journey, a new beginning.

2013 Theme – Reclaim Your Power – HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

  • Donna January 3, 2013, 12:56 AM

    I am 61 years old and was married for 40 years, and was dumped last year for another woman. Not the usual younger woman, but a woman that my ex husband reconnected with from high school. It has been devastating. It was not the first time he had cheated. It happened in the first year we were married. He begged forgiveness, and I did. It was never brought up again until our 20th year of marriage when he had another affair with someone who was also in his high school class. We had 2 children and he didn’t seem to be sure of what he wanted. At the time he told me he just wasn’t happy. Once again I forgave him. This time I wasn’t given a choice. We divorced last year. It just seems it is so hard for me to recover. I never believed that it would take me this long to get over. I have always had the belief that I was responsible for my own happiness, but this has me waiver in that belief. I have always been an easygoing happy person, but this has shaken my world. I am lucky to have a circle of friends that are very supportive, 2 wonderful children, and 2 sweet grandchildren to help me through. I’m just waiting for the time to pass to help me feel better.

    • Jewels January 6, 2013, 12:49 AM

      Hi Donna,

      The first thing that comes to mind for me to write is be careful not to spend so much time looking back that you miss the wonderful view that is right in front of you. There are opportunities waiting for you, but you can not see them because you eyes are focused on yesterday. Celebrate those years, those children and grandchildren, his cheating does not take away the life that you created the past 40 years. You know that you are an amazing mother and good wife (and if you do not know, you are). But now it is time to look forward, and create a new life. I know it is hard, just take one day at a time, tell yourself everyday to look forward at the amazing life that awaits, and eventually, you will see it before your eyes. Hugs to you!

  • Ellie March 3, 2013, 7:47 AM

    My dad died the end of January. I noticed my husband acting strange..He said he was depressed and had to get away..To relieve myself of the added stress he was causing me, I said go..He is 64 years of age and in the end he took a 23year old hooker gold digger (his words) away to Delaware in my car. They celebrated her 24th birthday. When he returned from getaway I looked at his camera and found over 3 dozen photos of this child. I have been sleeping in another room since he went on his trip. He has a thumb drive of pictures he took of her in bra and panties,
    And has since been fired.. That was just his part time job. He gets a good pension.
    I hardly talk to him. He is still seeing her. I am so filled with rage and anger. We live or should I say coexist in a home. When his mouth is moving he is lying. He just wants me to get over it and return to the cheerful happy person…It will never happen. I am trying to eat and sleep well..and make plans for my life alone…Please guide me. We were married 30 years and soon after marriage he claimed impotence due to his diabetes..Fool that I was I committed to our marriage…FOOL FOOL:(

    • Jewels March 3, 2013, 11:46 PM

      Hi Ellie,

      You are not a fool, far from it. You are a committed faithful wife who loves your husband and was willing to make many sacrifices for the marriage. If he is clearly and blatantly deciding to see another person, that is his choice. But in the same breath, just like he made a choice, you have the power to make a choice as well. You can make the choice to not tolerate it, and coexist with a plan, a purpose, and empowered to move on. You can’t make him not be with the girl. Within the marriage, I am sure some of those times together were wonderful, cherish those times, and then start to look forward at the new life that is waiting for you. Guess what? What lies ahead might be better that the past! I know it might be scary because it is unknown territory, but many of us have been there, including me. It is hard to step out into the unknown, but you owe it to yourself to fight for a chance to smile again. Make sure you eat, and be easy on yourself, you will be ok, you will get through this. Take care, big virtual hug to you!

  • Bonnie August 5, 2015, 8:39 AM

    I am a45 year old woman who has helped my husband raise his 4 children and raised 3 of my own. The last 2 years I’ve been suspicious of his behavior, he has been going on line and talking to other women, I know this because I’ve read some of his emails. I believe now that he has changed his name and is now using a different email address. I have confronted him and he denies it,he claims everything I see now is all junk mail. I have a good idea that he has crossed the line as far as fidelity goes. Feeling like a fool and confused!

    • Jewels August 9, 2015, 3:13 PM

      Hi Bonnie,

      It’s a horrible feeling when you know in your heart something is going on, but can not put your finger on it. Trust your intuition but be smart at the same time. Most cheaters will deny, deny, deny. But what generally happens is proof will present itself to you. It seems like families are integrated which is typical. I am not sure what your situation is as far as financial, dependencies, and support outside of your husband, but it might be a good time to revisit those area’s, just in case. If nothing is happening, still good to do those things I mentioned regardless, so you are coming out good. I would try not to play investigate his every move, if he is cheating, your alert system is already up, you will find out the truth either way without much effort.

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