Hope everyone has been doing well. I wanted to touch on the topic of revenge. When we face a cheating husband, you feel very justified to hurt him and get him back for what he did. It’s human nature to have that little voice in your ear saying ‘You will pay for this!’. But I am here to tell you to quit that voice. Revenge is not the way to handle this situation.
Why do I say this? Well, revenge actually takes a good amount of effort and time. You already have to deal with the grief of finding out about your cheating husband, the stress of deciding what to do next, the pain of a broken heart, and the day to day life happenings. Adding on revenge is really too much – seriously.
I will tell you something your probably will not like – your husband will never express or show the amount of pain and misery this has caused in the same manner that you would. So sometimes in revenge you are setting yourself up for a disappointing reaction from your husband.
To be honest with you, revenge focuses too much on your husband and his actions, and doesn’t focus on you as the individual. If I ruled the world, I wish all women in this situation focus inward as much as they focus on the marriage, because cheating rocks you to your core, and it is important to deal with that. As I deal with it myself, I feel more empowered and free. If you need something else to think about other than revenge, visit my Affair Recovery Tips section of the website. Good Night Ladies – Till next time!!
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Thanks Jewels for your post, it is certqianly a mature and level headed way of thinking. i myself am dealing with a serial cheater and i have been through unbearable hurt many times. At this point i am seriously considering divorce but scared of being left to take care of three young children alone. I too considered revenge but could not see any satisfaction coming from it, only more embarrasement for me and children.
The worst part is that i am suffering alone as my husband is overly confident that there will never be repercusions for his actions.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I ironically just wrote about cheating leaving you with the most difficult decision you will ever face in your marriage, and having kids involved makes it twice as complicated. Here are a couple of things that you can consider. 3 young kids are alot of work, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to live in an environment of disrespect and lack of trust, just because he knows you won’t leave. My husband thought the same thing, and I did a couple of things that opened his eyes that I am not afraid of leaving (even though I was scarred to death!!). For instance, I told his family. Now I am not recommending you do this at all – but for me it was my way of showing him that I am not going to be the one hiding his infidelity just because he thinks I won’t leave. So I put it out there. It also made me make a decision sooner as to leave or stay. Again, I am not recommending that for you, but I do recommend that you look at your situation and see if there is something that you can do to show him that your not just going to take this. Maybe go away for a weekend and stay with a friend. Maybe stop cleaning for a week because you need a break. Or tell him you need him to help with the kids more so that you can deal with this situation. Anything to show him that there are repercussions of his actions. As far as the kids, this is the worse part about cheating, breaking up the family. You will have to make that choice on your own, but start to think about the support structure and what that would look like. Would your husband help to raise the kids after the divorce? Do you have family that would be able to help with the kids? Focus on what it would look like, once you focus on it for a little bit, you will start to see the possibilities. Take care and best of luck to you!!