Today, I wanted to write about the overall topic of cheating. It just seems like cheating is becoming more and more common. Maybe I lived a sheltered life, but I don’t remember hearing about husbands having affairs being as bad as it is now 10-15 years ago. What is going on??
Part of me feels that technology has increased our ability to catch cheating husbands. You can track everything from a keystroke to a cell phone call. 10-15 years ago, the technology to do that did not exist or was not heavily used. So men are getting caught more because we are able to verify data now. This leads me to think that maybe affairs have been in heavy existence all this time, and now we are just beginning to ‘see’ more clearly.
Then another part of me feels like our society is changing to the point where people think it’s ok to cheat, like it’s not a big deal. For our husbands to go out and sleep with another woman and go about his day like everything is ok, that makes me think, where are the morals, the values, the integrity? Really has it gotten to the point where an affair doesn’t really hit the person until they are caught?? So maybe cheating is becoming more of a problem due to the decline of society values.
Lastly, part of me thinks that a woman’s self-value and sisterhood has declined in a way where a woman is ok with sleeping with her neighbour’s husband, or co-workers husband, or anyone’s husband!! When did this become an ok thing?
I am not sure what the answer is, but it’s really sad that this is happening SO often. I get emails from women all over the world and it just makes me think, what is going on and why is this happening so much? I would be interested in hearing others perspectives about why husbands are having affairs.
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You’re so right, the internet, phones etc make it a lot easier for someone to cheat, in the past it would happen if they went out with friends etc whereas nowadays they don’t have to leave the house to cheat, i’ve realised that my husband is a lying cheat and because of what’s happened i now wonder how many times he’s cheated in the 23 years we’ve been married, it’s just that he got caught this time.
Amy, you’re right, it’s almost like internal cheating (cheating in the home on the internet). I’m afraid that it’s going to get worse as I constantly see on TV and movies cheating and lying like it’s ok. There’s really no way to tell if your husband has cheated in the past, but at least you know the truth now. Take Care, thanks for your comment.
I live in South Florida and we have a HUGE hispanic population. I am of course not saying this is true of all hispanic women, but as Matria Shiver learned….they are trained in seduction, are competitive for married (and single) american men, and do not seem to have a moral compass for anything other than their advancement socially & financially, and their own pleasure and ego satisfaction. I can’t tell you of the many broken homes with children, or destroyed trusts that will affect relationships forever due to this low morality segment of our population. I warned my husband but became a statistic of them anyway. I have much much more going for me than this woman he cheated with, and he (my husband)chose me, but I am still amazed at how a man can fly off track with this kind of attention. Many times, it seems they are not even interested in the man, they just wanted the attention, and to prove they could ruin someone else’s long term relationship. Beware ladies, they are headed to YOUR town and want your man. Down here we even have young nice looking hispanic women hooking up with much older men for green cards, citizenship, and any other agenda you can imagine.
Hello Ortha,
I personally feel that cheating husbands crosses all races and classes (happens to the rich and the poor). Every race and every class across the world has been impacted by this, even married Hispanic women get cheated on. No race or financial status is better or worse in this situation, we all feel it. I am glad you know that you have much more going for you and I wish you the best in your recovery.
Well…I had suspected for years and just found out that my husband of 32years has been cheating for the last 30 years …from 1 whore to the next…for a total of 6…and there are probably more that he has not revealed…and he wants me to stay in the marriage…how insane… are these guys raised with no values..no morals..I asked if he believed in an monogamous marriage…and unbelievably he said he did…we have children..and they are boys…how do I hope they do not follow in their fathers path…
Hello Ella,
Welcome to the site. I have to say I am impressed, I know you are in a ton of pain right now, and through all of your pain, you still have that motherly, loving heart that asks how do I teach my boys not to do this to other women. Two things, first, they are going to see how this impacts the family in a big way, so they are going to learn through example. Second, make sure your boys know that there will come a time where things get rough in the marriage, and tell them it’s ok to open up to your wife, it’s ok to go to counseling/therapy, and I hate to say it, but tell them if they are not happy, don’t cheat, get a divorce. I would of MUCH rather gone through the pain of a divorce than to go through the emotional traumatic roller coaster of finding out my husband cheated.
Now back to you. 90% of men that cheat want to stay in the marriage, and many times I personally feel it is for reasons outside of you (to prevent embarrassment, to prevent the shame from family finding out). Men pride themselves on ‘having a solid family structure’ and for people to find out, it breaks that. You have a long road ahead, some days will be very tough, through it all remember that he choose to cheat, and him cheating for as long as he did has NO reflection on you as a person. Take Care, I wish you the best in your personal recovery.
Once a cheater always a cheater like my mom says that does not change.if you are faithful to yourself you will know it’s not cool. Women should expect nothing less than loyalty and love …your children are smart they see and feel everything if your with a cheater leave and you will feel beautiful to yourself there is nothing like love and to expect the best
Thanks Sean,
My favorite part of your comment was to be ‘faithful to yourself’. That is a powerful concept and one that I need to remind myself to do everyday. I strongly believe that if you are faithful to yourself, everything else works itself out. Unfortunately many women lose faith in themselves and their judgement during the affair, but if they focus on regaining that faith, it ca be a wonderful thing. Take Care.