I just realized today why recovering from a husband’s affair is so darn difficult! After you discover adultery within the marriage, you will see, hear, or remember certain things that will remind you of your husband cheating and put you back in that angry or sad place. Check out After the affair: five emotional triggers for more information on triggers.
I have learned that the number one emotional trigger/reminder of the affair is actually my husband!
I realized this when one of the members of the community (Thanks, Maya!) was talking about how upset she felt just by looking at her husband. When I read her story, I remembered times where I looked at my husband and felt SO angry, even though he wasn’t doing anything at the moment but sitting there breathing.
This is what makes marriage recovery so difficult and complicated; you’re trying to get past an affair that you’re reminded of every time you look at your spouse. I do feel that with time, affirmations, patience, and practice, a woman can learn to not feel anger, resentment, and pain every time she looks at her cheating husband, but doing that isn’t exactly easy, nor is it something I necessarily know how to do (I left my husband).