Website Upgrade

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Hi Everyone,

I know it has been a while. The past couple of weeks I have been working to upgrade the website. While you will not see many changes in the actual view of the site at this moment, the back end was completely upgraded.  I am still int he process of testing functionality and working through a couple of roadblocks. I appreciate your support during the process and I expect by next week the site upgrade will be completely finished. I hope everyone is doing well in the recovery process. Hugs to you all.

 

  • It's been 5 weeks since I found out November 14, 2014, 5:21 PM

    Hi Jewels,
    I stumbled across your blog today and it has already helped me. Married for 20 years, been together for 23 years and have 3 children (22, 19 and 12 years old). I found out my husband was lying and cheating on Friday, October 10 (dreaded day). This is the 3rd time I have caught him with the same woman. The first time was about 5 years ago when he and OW said they were “just friends” then about 3 years ago I had that women’s gut feeling that something was going on so I checked our cell phone bill and there was that phone number multiple times that was not my phone number. I called the number and again they both denied any relations. I had no proof. Fast forward to present, my husband had a “secret phone” that he was using to communicate with OW and random women. My son found the “secret phone” and the story goes on from there. We have decided to not tell our older kids because they are not in the home. I am still in complete shock. We are going to marriage counseling and individual counseling. He apologizes and says he never meant to hurt me. Our marriage counselor suggested we don’t discuss divorce for at least 6 months. He won’t leave our home and I don’t want to leave our home. Our 12 yr old does not want either of us to leave. It breaks my heart that my son is so involved in our problems. I am getting stronger each day.

    • Jewels November 28, 2014, 4:23 PM

      Hi It’s been 5 weeks since I found out :),

      I am glad the site is already helping. To find out that what you have been suspecting over and over again is true, and to have your son involved is heartbreaking. I have a post about the 2nd phone, it is more common technique than one would think. That is good that you are in marriage counseling, I hope a key focus area is how to rebuild trust. Your husband has maintained a lie for years. Years of denying your suspicions. Recovery will be long no matter what you decide. I would also encourage you to seek counseling on your own, because there is a journey that has nothing to do with your husband that you need to embark on. One of healing, one of getting back to you and your core as a person, as cheating often breaks that core of you. I know it’s been a couple of weeks, you might still be in shock, and that is ok. This is your journey, and you go at the pace that feel comfortable. There is no quick solution, just take everything one step at a time. Your husband has to figure out how he is going to convince you that it is really over with the OW. And the answer isn’t one or two things, it’s multiple small actions over the course of many months, which I am sure you will discuss in sessions.

      **Oh as for your son, kids are amazing. He might need to process the events as well but the best thing you can do is show your son through example that mommy might be hurt and upset, but mommy is still there for him and mommy will be ok no matter what. And that none of this is his fault.

      I wish you and your family the best, hugs to you.

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