Comments on: The Wedding Ring Has Come Off – My Current Status http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/ After the Affair Site for wives who have been through the painful situation of a cheating husband Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:34:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: LisaP http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-44190 LisaP Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:09:59 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-44190 Jeannie I too had the 25yr ring indentation. I just replace that ring with a cocktail ring for the time being. Just to show my husband that if he didn't take our marriage seriously then I don't have to any more either. I left my wedding ring on a ring holder right next to my bathroom sink so he would see I wasn't wearing it! That hurt him more than me not talking to him, as well as giving him the evil eye from time to time. We he came crawling back for forgiveness and wanted to work things out I still didn't put it back on until I felt a part of me could trust him (just a little part). Jeannie I too had the 25yr ring indentation. I just replace that ring with a cocktail ring for the time being. Just to show my husband that if he didn’t take our marriage seriously then I don’t have to any more either. I left my wedding ring on a ring holder right next to my bathroom sink so he would see I wasn’t wearing it! That hurt him more than me not talking to him, as well as giving him the evil eye from time to time. We he came crawling back for forgiveness and wanted to work things out I still didn’t put it back on until I felt a part of me could trust him (just a little part).

]]> By: jeannie http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-44184 jeannie Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:25:19 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-44184 Ring off, ring on. Made me feel worse with it off. After 26 years it has also left a big indentation. Made me feel like I had a brand like a cow. lol Thanks Jewels for your encouragement and yes my daughter is amazing. My husband is on his best behaviour and can't do enough for me but I am very cynical about that. Time will tell. Ring off, ring on. Made me feel worse with it off. After 26 years it has also left a big indentation. Made me feel like I had a brand like a cow. lol Thanks Jewels for your encouragement and yes my daughter is amazing. My husband is on his best behaviour and can’t do enough for me but I am very cynical about that. Time will tell.

]]> By: Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-44157 Jewels Thu, 15 Dec 2011 04:54:28 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-44157 Hello Jeannie, I first want to say hats off to your daughter, what a difficult situation to be in as a daughter, very difficult. And she handled it in such a courageous and respectful way, I am just really impressed with that, please let her know that, you must of raised her well. I know what you mean about the ring. I felt as if me having the ring on meant everything was ok, and it wasn't that way, I felt I was covering up for him or something. So it was quite liberating for me not to wear it. After only a month it's still fresh and no need to be in a rush to make any major decisions, take it slow, and watch his actions, they will let you know what to do. Take Care. Hello Jeannie,

I first want to say hats off to your daughter, what a difficult situation to be in as a daughter, very difficult. And she handled it in such a courageous and respectful way, I am just really impressed with that, please let her know that, you must of raised her well. I know what you mean about the ring. I felt as if me having the ring on meant everything was ok, and it wasn’t that way, I felt I was covering up for him or something. So it was quite liberating for me not to wear it. After only a month it’s still fresh and no need to be in a rush to make any major decisions, take it slow, and watch his actions, they will let you know what to do. Take Care.

]]> By: LisaP http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-44136 LisaP Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:34:18 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-44136 @jeannie, I too took off my ring when I found out about my husband cheating. It stayed off the first time 3 months and the second 3 months and the last 1 month. It hurt him more to see it off that it did me. I felt I little freedom from his lies when I wasn't wearing it. My husband didn't have physical affairs but emotional! We didn't talk for months unless we had too. I went to counseling but he never did because he still thought if he didn't touch them he didn't cheat. We even went through the steps of talking to a divorce mediator. Men just don't get how much they are hurting their wifes and family until its too late. Regarding your ring hold off on doing anything. Things change as the days go bye. One day you want to divorce him the other you don't. Or maybe your do. @jeannie, I too took off my ring when I found out about my husband cheating. It stayed off the first time 3 months and the second 3 months and the last 1 month. It hurt him more to see it off that it did me. I felt I little freedom from his lies when I wasn’t wearing it. My husband didn’t have physical affairs but emotional! We didn’t talk for months unless we had too. I went to counseling but he never did because he still thought if he didn’t touch them he didn’t cheat. We even went through the steps of talking to a divorce mediator. Men just don’t get how much they are hurting their wifes and family until its too late. Regarding your ring hold off on doing anything. Things change as the days go bye. One day you want to divorce him the other you don’t. Or maybe your do.

]]> By: jeannie http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-44133 jeannie Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:56:37 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-44133 I took my ring off yesterday. It's been a month since my husband confessed to two affairs that happened 9 and 11 years ago. He confessed because he had recently sent a text to another woman, that was sexually flirtatious, and sent it to my 21 year old daughter by mistake. My daughter said if he didn't tell me, she would, and he decided to come clean about everything. Even if, as he says, the latest flirtation had not progressed beyond texting, it is cheating. All three of these women are married. I have been married 26 years but I removed my ring because I feel as if the vows meant little to him. Looking at it made me think it had all been a lie. I have made no decisions regarding my future, my husband began counselling recently, and it is early days. He wants me to stay and says he wants to learn how to treat me like he should have always been treating me. It has been a difficult marriage at the best of times. If I stay, I have thought I would use the gold to have a different wedding band made but of course, at this point, I feel it would still be an empty promise on his part, even with a new band. My diamond ring is off too and that hurts too because he bought it for me at 13 years of marriage and he cheated after that. I feel I would never be able to wear either ring again in their present form. I took my ring off yesterday. It’s been a month since my husband confessed to two affairs that happened 9 and 11 years ago. He confessed because he had recently sent a text to another woman, that was sexually flirtatious, and sent it to my 21 year old daughter by mistake. My daughter said if he didn’t tell me, she would, and he decided to come clean about everything. Even if, as he says, the latest flirtation had not progressed beyond texting, it is cheating. All three of these women are married. I have been married 26 years but I removed my ring because I feel as if the vows meant little to him. Looking at it made me think it had all been a lie. I have made no decisions regarding my future, my husband began counselling recently, and it is early days. He wants me to stay and says he wants to learn how to treat me like he should have always been treating me. It has been a difficult marriage at the best of times. If I stay, I have thought I would use the gold to have a different wedding band made but of course, at this point, I feel it would still be an empty promise on his part, even with a new band. My diamond ring is off too and that hurts too because he bought it for me at 13 years of marriage and he cheated after that. I feel I would never be able to wear either ring again in their present form.

]]> By: Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-36895 Jewels Tue, 04 Oct 2011 05:00:41 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-36895 Hello Carolyn, It actually appears your husband might actually have a conscious and might of told because it was eating him up inside, which is great news if it is true. That might be why you are still there, maybe you sense that he is really trying to work things out. It also appears he embarrassed himself big time and was scarred of losing you by finding out by someone else. If you are still there I guess the thing to evaluate is if he sincerely made a mistake and is willing to put in some hard work to try to rebuild trust. Unfortunately some men say they want to work it out, but still lie and cheat, it's a shame. If this is not your guy, you might have a shot. Best of luck! Hello Carolyn,

It actually appears your husband might actually have a conscious and might of told because it was eating him up inside, which is great news if it is true. That might be why you are still there, maybe you sense that he is really trying to work things out. It also appears he embarrassed himself big time and was scarred of losing you by finding out by someone else. If you are still there I guess the thing to evaluate is if he sincerely made a mistake and is willing to put in some hard work to try to rebuild trust. Unfortunately some men say they want to work it out, but still lie and cheat, it’s a shame. If this is not your guy, you might have a shot. Best of luck!

]]> By: Carolyn http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-35986 Carolyn Fri, 30 Sep 2011 17:08:20 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-35986 My husband came to me and told me he had cheated on me. That's scarry to me because I never caught him. I asked him why and he said it was just a stupid mistake on his part. I asked him why he would choose someone who was totally ugly and had more fat on her then me. He told me because she had the parts and she built him up and put him on a pedistal saying she was the best she had ever had. Of course he was the best she ever had I trained him for 22 years. I of course I know her he worked with her and when she started telling everyone at his work she had had sex with him, he was asked about it and actually made fun of by his co-workers. This makes me feel like why why why when I was right here for him. My ring is off as well but for some reason I'm still here. My husband came to me and told me he had cheated on me. That’s scarry to me because I never caught him.
I asked him why and he said it was just a stupid mistake on his part. I asked him why he would choose someone who was totally ugly and had more fat on her then me. He told me because she had the parts and she built him up and put him on a pedistal saying she was the best she had ever had. Of course he was the best she ever had I trained him for 22 years.
I of course I know her he worked with her and when she started telling everyone at his work she had had sex with him, he was asked about it and actually made fun of by his co-workers. This makes me feel like why why why when I was right here for him. My ring is off as well but for some reason I’m still here.

]]> By: Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-2766 Jewels Fri, 14 Jan 2011 01:14:17 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-2766 Hello Heather, So cool that he is willing to be transparent, that's a good first step. Having your husband cheat on you is so complicated, I created the site so that women wouldn't feel so alone. It's hard to find other women in the situation since it's one of those topics that many people don't talk about. So glad it has helped you in your situation. Take Care! Hello Heather,
So cool that he is willing to be transparent, that’s a good first step. Having your husband cheat on you is so complicated, I created the site so that women wouldn’t feel so alone. It’s hard to find other women in the situation since it’s one of those topics that many people don’t talk about. So glad it has helped you in your situation. Take Care!

]]> By: Heather http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-2761 Heather Thu, 13 Jan 2011 14:30:23 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-2761 Hello again, Just want you to know, my ring is still off, and I'm going to use MS's response if my husband asks me why I'm not wearing it. You're so right when you say that rebuilding trust is going to be extremely hard. He says that he understands that, and is willing to be "transparent". We shall see. I am looking forward to going to counseling because when we talked yesterday, I kept wanting to know why he did this, and I probably shouldn't be focusing so much on that. I kept trying to remember what you said in these posts about not giving the affair to much focus, but instead focus on moving forward. As I told him, "I can forgive, but I CANNOT ever forget"! Thanks again for this site, it has really helped me through this tough time, even though I just found it a few days ago! Have a great day! Hello again,

Just want you to know, my ring is still off, and I’m going to use MS’s response if my husband asks me why I’m not wearing it. You’re so right when you say that rebuilding trust is going to be extremely hard. He says that he understands that, and is willing to be “transparent”. We shall see. I am looking forward to going to counseling because when we talked yesterday, I kept wanting to know why he did this, and I probably shouldn’t be focusing so much on that. I kept trying to remember what you said in these posts about not giving the affair to much focus, but instead focus on moving forward. As I told him, “I can forgive, but I CANNOT ever forget”!
Thanks again for this site, it has really helped me through this tough time, even though I just found it a few days ago!
Have a great day!

]]> By: Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/the-wedding-ring-has-come-off-my-current-status/comment-page-1/#comment-2755 Jewels Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:59:54 +0000 http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=250#comment-2755 Hello Heather, Rebuilding trust is the hardest part of recovery in a marriage, it's extremely difficult and takes a husband who is willing to be totally transparent after the affair. When I say transparent, I mean a husband who really is wanting to work things out should understand how trust is shattered and should have no problem being totally open with information (email accounts, phone). My husband refused to give me open access and later I found out it was because he was still cheating. I think trust can be rebuilt, but it takes a huge amount of effort, time, and counseling on both parties. Keep in touch - and yes make him make all the arrangements!! Hello Heather,
Rebuilding trust is the hardest part of recovery in a marriage, it’s extremely difficult and takes a husband who is willing to be totally transparent after the affair. When I say transparent, I mean a husband who really is wanting to work things out should understand how trust is shattered and should have no problem being totally open with information (email accounts, phone). My husband refused to give me open access and later I found out it was because he was still cheating. I think trust can be rebuilt, but it takes a huge amount of effort, time, and counseling on both parties. Keep in touch – and yes make him make all the arrangements!!

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