I have been playing around with this theory for some time now. There are tons of reasons that husbands cheat, but this one doesn’t really get discussed a lot. The idea is this: Maybe this experience has come into my life because my husband is not ‘the one’.
I don’t think I believe in the idea that there’s a “one” person out there for everybody. I do believe that there are people that come into your life for a particular season and they are perfect for you in that time. That time could be 1 year, 5 years, or 30 years.
If I get honest with myself, there were some things about my husband that made our relationship “off” from square one. My husband was never one to take responsibility for his actions. Did not think it was a big deal, now looking back that should have been a deal breaker. We would talk, but when we talked for long periods of time, I would often get frustrated. Not sure why, but it happened. Taking responsibility and communication are instrumental in a marriage, two traits that should not be overlooked. Two traits that I overlooked, when you are in love, it is so easy to overlook undesirable traits and habits, I am sure I had my own as well.
At the same time, my husband gave me faith and hope when I was feeling down. He is a perfect gentleman, always opening doors and paying for dinners. He was interacts well with kids, and I admire him for that.
Is my husband ‘the one’? Considering the state of the marriage, I do not think so. In order to stay married, he would have to take responsibility for his actions, and we would need to communicate better – neither is happening. But, I do feel he was definitely ‘the one’ for that period of time in my life.
When you’re choosing a partner, it is difficult to find the balance between being picky and accepting anything. In my case, I tend to be more accepting and overlook things. I am the great hope – everyone can change with just a little help! What I failed to realize is that people have to want to help themselves first.