Sexting—that is, sending text messages of a sexual nature—and cheating often go hand-in-hand.
In fact, sexting (the term used for these sexually charged text messages) were how I found out about my husband’s affair. My husband had been sexting the other woman for months. Then, one day, he left his phone at home. I was already feeling suspicious because of the way he had been behaving, so I pulled it out and looked through it. And there is was—months of messages to and from this woman. Some texts were of a joking nature, some romantic, and some about sex. It was clear that they enjoyed interacting with each other. And it was clear that I had no idea my husband would ever do something like this!
It is amazing to me how many cheating husbands play this sexting game with the OW. The things he would want to do with her (explaining this in text) he would never bring up to me. This behavior is very common. Men who cheat are more prone to doing “naughty” things with the OW than with their wives. This may be because they’re embarrassed by their sexual desires, or maybe they want the wife and mother of their children to be ‘clean’ and not be involved in the raw sexual desires that he has. I am not sure.
What I do know is that sexting with an OW has a devastating impact on a wife. It’s emotionally and mentally damaging to see a play-by-play sexual interaction between your husband and another woman. It’s shocking, and it is hard to look at your husband and/or his phone in the same manner.