Cheating Husbands – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Hello Ashley,

I gotta tell you from experience (my husband cheated soon after marriage as well), it is possible to recover, but takes a TON of work from both parties. I was actually willing, but my husband wasn’t. Plus I think that both cheating and talking with women online are highly addictive, which doesn’t help. I would really take some time, dig deep and think about what you want in a relationship. Then I would do some of the things I talk about in my free ebook like see if he is really dedicated and committed to working things out. If he is saying ‘I don’t see what the big deal is…’ – not a good sign. If this just happened recently then it might be ok, but if 3 months later, he is still saying things of that nature, I would not leave right away, but I would start to think about your plan B for your life, and what that would look like. Best of luck, I actually hope it works out in your best interest, whatever you decide to do.

-Jewels

Hello MS,

Yes!! I remember literally feeling sick to my stomach when my husband was online. I just read some study from lawyers that state that 50% of all divorces have a Facebook element to it. That is crazy!! I am going to write a post about it. Stay strong, I know this is a crazy time for you, I feel it through your post. Get as much rest as you can, I literally stressed my self to the hospital several times before I learned how to deal with the situation.

Your story brings back so many painful memories. I remember being pregnant and beating myself up because I didn’t have sex drive anymore, I think my hormones were out of whack. I remember being pregnant and finding my husband’s very sexy text messages. His (my husband’s) were pretty obvious that this was an affair. Here is my opinion on your situation – if he is willing to send another women a sexy text, then he is willing to have sex with her, and probably already did. Men typically will deny affairs unless there is absolute proof. You don’t flirt in that manner with just a friend. With that said, you have a child, and I know first hand how it feels when you find this out right after you had a child together (it is horrible!!). So here is what I recommend for you.

You have a child. You are going to be paranoid for a while because of what you saw, there is no way around it. Continue to try to talk to your husband, if he gets mad and doesn’t want to talk about it – take note, something is probably up. If it was just an innocent flirt – can he call her while your on the line listening? If he isn’t willing to do that (I don’t care if it is uncomfortable for him, your the wife, and he should be doing what he can to make it work). If he doesn’t want to do it – take note.

Now, you need to start putting together what I call your plan B. Plan B is when you find out that the man you marriage might not be prince charming. Plan B is figuring out your potential exit strategy. I am not saying do anything at this point, just think about your options over the next 6 months. If you had to leave, how could it work out? I have my mental plan in place, but it took me over a year to really get some action going because I have 2 kids and I can’t just leave. Again, I would want nothing more than for both of you to work it out, but I want you to start thinking about your Plan B, so that if the event shall occur that you would have to leave, mentally, you will be in a good state. Just my little old opinion…

Take care of you and the newborn…boy I remember those sleepless nights with the baby and the ‘is he still cheating’ thing – awful. But things will get better for you personally….