The Temptation to Cheat on your Spouse

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The Temptation to Cheat on your Spouse post image

Photo courtesy of Davide Restivo https://www.flickr.com/photos/somemixedstuff/

We all think our husbands are not the ‘cheating type’. The reality is, every husband (and wife) can at some point in the marriage be tempted to engage in an affair.

Our society is different than it was before; opportunities to engage with the opposite sex are at an all-time high. And it is a fact – spend enough time with a female or male that is not your spouse, and the possibility of one person “catching feelings” is quite high.

But that is actually not the problem. The problem is that typically the only conversation about infidelity in the marriage is that it is “unacceptable” – period. The husband doesn’t want to talk about it because the thought of his wife cheating gets his blood boiling. The wife doesn’t want to think about it because it’s emotionally charged as well. So what typically happens? The man catches feelings for someone else and never says a word. He thinks he can control himself but he can’t. He gets sloppy and the wife find outs and is hurt beyond words. The same can happen on the other side, as women cheat as well.

But what if that same married couple had a conversation about infidelity?

What if that same couple came together and discussed what would happen if either one developed feelings for someone else?

What if that couple broke the taboo discussion barriers and tackled the issue head on?

Would it prevent cheating? Not necessarily. But by having the conversation prior to any party cheating, it demystifies the situation and might allow for a healthy dialogue down the road. I am not one who believes that you have to tell your partner every little feeling, but I do think that having a healthy conversation about infidelity would open up doors of communication down the line when one party is contemplating having an affair. What do you think?

  • Bette August 6, 2014, 4:42 PM

    I think this is so refreshing — and brave.

    I’ve read many posts here where the wife goes off on OW without looking at, well, were there warning signs. Red flags. Did he expect fidelity as part of the marriage and many times predators (repeat offenders) don’t and they assume that if their mother put up with a cheating husband and devoted her life to him that you as the wife should too.

    By having honest discussions outlining expectations at the beginning, this gives you a platform to say any sexting is cheating, etc. This empowers the wife and sets forth the consequences and what it takes to keep you together. Rather than expect the OW to honor your commitment, a commitment the OW never swore to uphold in the first place.

    I KNOW how devastating cheating can be, and I love this post’s topic for empowering women. It takes the blinders off and sets responsibility inside the marriage where it belongs.

    • Jewels August 13, 2014, 6:54 AM

      Hi Bette,

      Thanks so much for taking the time to post, I have been upgrading the website and a little delayed in responses but I do agree. The honest conversations are being covered up by ‘we don’t need to get that detailed’ and it opens the door for misunderstanding down the line. Thanks again for your kind words about the website and great perspective.

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