This is one of the most common worries wives have about their husbands after they’ve cheated on them. You caught him cheating, he says he is sorry and he wants to work on the marriage. But you have this nagging feeling that something is still going on.
On the one hand, after finding our your husband cheated, you do not want to neglect that feeling—after all, the majority of us found out our spouses were cheating because of that vague feeling that something was “just wrong”. At the same time, you do not want to be consumed worrying if your husband is still cheating on you. Tracking your husband’s every move will take up your entire day, stress you out to no end, and make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
I went through the same process. Things seemed to be fine between us, but something was nagging me and I wasn’t sure if I was being super sensitive or something was still going on. Needless to say, I became super stressed out. After a while, trying to catch him with his guard down in order to look through his phone and making up reasons to call to see if he would answer just became exhausting. I finally said to myself, “I do not want to live like this the rest of my life.” But I wasn’t ready to leave the marriage either. So I took the control out of my hands, and trusted that the universe would let me know what was going on. I told myself if he was still having an affair, then I hoped that life would show me without me being a private investigator. I stopped stressing about it and focused on working on my marriage.
A week later, the other woman (OW) contacted me of her own volition, and there I had my answer. Being patient like that was what I should have been doing all along. When you try so hard to figure out the answer to a question you can block the answer. For me, learning to just let go and not force my own outcome was an important lesson in my own affair recovery journey.