I caught my husband cheating in March 2009. Now he claims he wants to work things out, and I am really, really tired. I know it is going to take a ton of effort to rebuild the trust in our marriage, but is rebuilding it worth all the time and energy? I don’t know. Relationships are already hard enough without the problems infidelity causes.
Why does he want to work things out? Part of me feels that if our marriage fails, he will feel like a failure to his family and to society. The fear of embarrassment is a powerful emotion; people go to great lengths to protect themselves from embarrassment. So just in case he was using that as his reason to”work things out,” I told his family.
Yes, everyone in his family knows what he did. There was much more to it than picking up the phone or sending an email, and I’ll talk about that all in due time. For now, just know that doing something like this opens up a huge can of worms, so proceed with caution. I did not tell his family until three months after I found out, which is when I learned that he was still seeing the other woman! If he was still messing around with her, why was he telling me he wanted to work things out? Around this time, apparently the other woman got mad because he tried to end it with her. So now he has two mad women—too bad for him!
Most women who contact me say that their husband wants to work things, but sometimes I really question why. If he cheated because he was unhappily married, then why would he want to work things out instead of just leaving?
Affair Recovery is no walk in the park.