In Part I of this II part series, I talked about how Elin’s interview reminded me that the pain of finding out your husband committed infidelity is universal. Today, I will talk about how having money and being famous impacts you when you find out your husband cheated.
Now, I am sure there are instances of this, but typically, when a famous married person is involved in a cheating scandal, very rarely do they stay married (or live in the same house) for very long. There are relationships all over the world where the husband is caught cheating and the marriage survives, but not many examples of this in the public arena.
When you have money, you can literally leave the next day, so you can get away from all of the reminders about the affair. With most of us ‘regular folk’, the husband cheats and the next day/week, etc, he is still sleeping at the house. This causes for tension and drama. I feel like one of the main reasons divorces get messy is because people stay under the same roof (usually they have to financially) with such intense emotions, it breeds problems. On a positive note, living under the same roof after the affair sometimes gives the both of you a chance to talk and understand each other better.
When you have money, you can pay for some ‘think time’, in which you can go away for a week (with or without your husband) and just think about the situation. Most of us (without a lot of money) have obligations in which we have to squeeze dealing with this in between kids, work, cleaning the house, etc. And even if you do have money, kids may limit you in the amount of ‘think time’ you have.
Lastly, when you have money, you can pay for the top therapists to help you individually and as a couple. I think going to a top specialized therapist can do wonders for you recovery efforts. There are pro’s and con’s to having money and dealing with an affair, but again, the pain is universal no matter how much money you have.
Related posts:
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t know how this will work, because for now I am forgiving my fiancé and working through things with him. But if he breaks my trust a second time, my plan would be to tell him to leave immediately and go stay with the other woman. Financially, yes it would be a struggle, but our son and I could stay with family, and then I don’t feel badly that he might or might not be on the streets. If anyone should leave, it’s him. Once a man’s affair hits reality, once he sees his lover in the harsh light of day, once she has to deal with his true faults, maybe then, they learn that they made a mistake.
My fiancé reflects sometimes on the celebrities who stayed together: Bill and Hillary Clinton, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni, David Boreanaz and his wife. And then I remind him of the ones who separated or divorced. Elizabeth Edwards, Maria Shriver, Elin Nordegren… In a way, I am proud of those women who had the autonomy and strength and self-confidence to walk away from a man who didn’t respect them. Who knows how long they had to deal with that? Some of us (myself included) aren’t emotionally strong enough to pack our bags and leave with our heads held high. I’d like to think that we each take our time and go through it at our own pace. And it does not make any of the wives who stayed weak. But it makes me smile to hear about the women who left. They remind men everywhere that there will always be consequences for their infidelity.
Hello Syvia,
I think you should give yourself more credit
You found out, told your fiancé it can never happen again, and also created a backup plan if it does happen, which is very, very smart. You are correct in that women who stay are not weak. Women who stay, and end up being happy are incredibly strong, and women that leave a situation where they are being disrespected are strong. It’s such a hard decision, but as long as you make how you feel a priority, you will make the right choice. Good luck!