Do all men cheat? One could easily come to this site, see the hundreds of stories from wives and say ‘Do all men cheat?’. No, all men do not cheat, it might appear that way from the site, but I do not want to give a perception that I think that all men are cheaters. This site was created to help women recover from the pain of an affair, so by default most of the stories on the site reflect men cheating. So here is some of my thoughts around cheating just for the record.
1. I know that women cheat as well, I have met several women who have or did cheat on their husbands. My site focuses on women recovery from their husband cheating, and just because that is the purpose of the site, does not mean that I negate the fact that women are out there cheating as well.
2. I do not believe the answer is yes to the question “Do all men cheat?”. The reason why is because I have been fortunate enough to interact with several men that have contacted me privately in pure devastation over their wife cheating. I can tell from their emails that they are in so much pain over the ordeal, much like the wives on this site. And with each email that I get like that, it reminds me that there are good men out there.
I stated off the beginning of the year asking the universe to show me evidence that there are good men out there, and I received it. I talked to me for 2 hours (due to delays) in the airport about the affair. He was so interested in how my husband could do that and the mindset, and he was almost in tears saying he couldn’t live with the pain he would cause if he did that to his wife of 30 years. I felt it was sincere. I met men that are pretty confident and willing to be open and honest, I almost get the sense that they do not feel the need to cheat, they are fulfilled and don’t need anything additional. That doesn’t mean they are not capable of cheating, it is just at this present moment I do not believe they have cheated. But everyone is capable. The days of ‘he would never cheat’ are over for me 
.
With that said, I honestly do not think that the majority of our husbands are bad people that were planning to lie and cheat on us. I think that they hit a point in their life where they wanted their ego stroked for whatever reason (there are tons). They thought sex with another woman would give them the fulfilment and that ego stroke, but it backfired, and here we are at the site, trying to pick up the pieces. Or they thought they could handle themselves with ‘emotional cheating’ and couldn’t. I am in no way excusing their behavior (most of the women on this site at a certain point may of wanted to feel more confident, didn’t mean we went and cheated), just sharing my personal opinion.
So do all men cheat? No, but many do, and the only thing I can hope for is that we get better at being more open with each other as married couples, I think if cheaters learn to open up to the wife about how they are feeling, they would be surprised, but unfortunately, some men feel the answer to their problems is cheating (but not all men do that!!).
So to all the husbands out there that are faithful, cheers to you!
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
While too many do cheat, fortunately their are good men who restrain themselves, despite their desires to cheat, becasue of a deep sense of ethics or knowing what would happen if they were caught.
Thanks Carlie, we need the reminder!
Lets not forget that cheating is not just physicaly.. It includes the mind and the heart as well.. If the desire is there within the heart and mind then its cheating as well.. Please dont justify it with “as long as he doesnt do it..” or “its just a phase”..
If true love comes from the heart and its noticed as something sincere… Then how come its not when desires or the fantasy of cheating is there??
sorry about that… I messed up on my comment on the last part.. I meant to say that..
If love comes from the heart its always noticed as sincere and belivable.. The how come when it comes to the desire of cheating it isnt? When all feelings start from the mind and the heart??
I was tought as a young girl that all men cheat; it has stayed in my mind and I have seen it/ been through it many times. I am going to be getting married soon, the problem is, of which my soon to be husband does not know much of, is that I do not trust that he will be faithfull; he has given me NO reason to not trust him, in fact he is very open with me. This lack of trust that I have comes from family teachings, movies, friends, my own relationships, and society in general. I am worried that if I share this fear with him, he will honestly think I am connecting my worries to him as a person, where in reality I just have the view that all men cheat. What can I do to help cool down my worries?
Catty – The first thing you do is not come back on this site lol – it will make you question his every move. Like I stated, I do not think all men cheat. But the reality is you can not predict if your husband is going to cheat. So if I were in your shoes, here is exactly what I would do.
Live, have fun, and enjoy the moments that you have with your soon to be husband. Someone told me before I was married that this is a wonderful time in your life, but make you have your own little thing going on. Don’t lose yourself in the marriage because it is not promised. I didn’t listen, and totally lost myself within the marriage.
So he has not giving you any indication – great – go with it, does that mean have 100% trust that he will not cheat – no. What is does mean is that he has not given you any indication, so live your life with that and be in love, enjoy it. If he give you an indication other wise, address it at that time, not now. No need worrying about what might be, enjoy the moment you have, because the future is not promised, so do not worry about him cheating, worry about is he fulfilling your needs, is he making you happy and are you able to be yourself with him. Cheating – you can not control weather he decided to do that in the future – so take advantage that he is not now and go forward – and remember no more coming to this site (unless he gives you a reason to, which I sincerely hope never happens).
**Oh, you might also benefit from going to couples therapy. People always wait when there are major problems, which is typically too late. Go now if he is willing, because a good therapist will be able to help both of you understand each other and help deal with those type of fears. I will tell you right now if me and my husband would of done that earlier in the relationship, it probably would of saved the marriage. Take Care!!
Linda – You are right, cheating is not just physical, it is mental. Not sure if cheating always comes from the heart, sometimes it starts with the mind, but from a place of lust and greed and selfishness, not from the heart. Do emotions get involved, yes, cheaters often get caught up and can express feelings from the heart. Either way you look at it is cheating, emotionally or physical.