Cheating Husbands - YOU ARE NOT ALONE » Why did he cheat?

Cheating and Maturity – the connection

Jewels — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:21:39 +0000

I think my husband’s affair is directly linked to the fact that we are on different maturity levels. We think differently about situations. He is very simple minded, he blames others for almost all situations in his life. I read that when you do that, it is a maturity thing. As you become more mature, you evaluate and reflect more. You think about how your actions contributed to your current state. Sadly some people never get to this state, they are stuck in level 1 maturity. For me personally, I think that I am level two, but I am overboard, to the point where I always blame myself for things. I always find something that I could do better when I reflect, and he is my flaw. So when you put those two types together, things go wrong. While married, I always felt the need to make things right, or to try and change my behavior to see what impact that had on the relationship. What is ended up doing is being frustrated, angry and upset because I felt I was doing all the work and the caring in the relationship. Couldn’t talk to him about it – he was too immature. For example, I would bring up something that upset me, and instead of talking about it, he would immediately tell me how I exemplify the same behavior, or how I was in the wrong as well. It is almost like I felt I was in debate class, trying to constantly defend my point. When your maturity levels are matched, I really feel like it is easier to have a discussion, it is easier to talk about differences, because your on the same level. I don’t think it will make the affair easier to deal with, but I think it will make your chances of recovery a little higher. That’s all for tonight.

The theory about cheating husbands that no one wants to talk about

Jewels — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:39:58 +0000

I have been playing around with this theory for some time now. There are tons of reasons that you find yourself married to ‘a cheating spouse’ , but this one is not really discussed. The concept is this – My husband cheated because he really is not ‘the one’. It’s funny that I write that because as I write it, I say to myself, is there really ‘the one’. I don’t think I believe in ‘THE ONE’ but I darn sure believe in ‘not the one’ and that is what I would like to talk about.

If I get really, really honest with myself, there were some things about him that made us ‘off’. I am attracted to men that take responsibility for their actions, and since he blamed everyone else for his issues, that really wasn’t attractive. At the same time, he was a perfect gentlemen, always opened doors, paid for dinners, ect…so I let the issue slide.

We never really talk or laughed for hours, something was just out of sync with our conversations. But he was so good with kids, and I really admired him for that, so I overlooked the issue.

Lastly, there was a relationship in the past where I was more in sync with the person (we broke up) than my cheating husband.

Now the hardest part to figure out is when you are dating, is the balance between just being too darn picky and accepting anything. And the line is extremely difficult to draw – EXTREMELY. But I think as women we tend to lean toward one side or the other. For me, I tend to be more accepting and overlook things. Now, looking at my life, I am not too happy about that.

And for the record, in no way am I condoning what my husband did because he might of been ‘the wrong one’, I am just thinking that it may of been a more difficult relationship because I was always trying to get him to understand, and with others, I am more understood.

Just some food for thought….Have a great weekend ladies!!

Why did he cheat?

Jewels — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:35:48 +0000

He claims I didn’t have sex enough. We weren’t. But I was also pregnant and needed him to ‘do’ things differently in the sex department. When you are pregnant, your hormones change, and the things that I liked before had to be adjusted. I was really hurt when he didn’t care to adjust at all and left me feeling very uncomfortable. So instead of working on things, he turned into a cheating husband. I personally call this pure laziness.