Cheating Husbands - YOU ARE NOT ALONE » Personal Recovery

I won a personal battle today, some of you might be able to relate

Jewels — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 03:18:50 +0000

So most of you know that at this point me and my husband are over, he is very aware of the fact that I am living at the house just until I save enough money to leave (which will be soon). At times he wants to work things out, at times he wants to have sex, but the main annoyance while living here is that he is still somewhat controlling. I am not even interested in dating at this point, but if he finds out I so much as to went out to lunch with a co-worker, he gets all weird and starts the 20 questions game. He has even got contact information of a friend and said some mean things, all in an attempt to control who I talk to (I need to write a post about this topic alone!) So I have just been dealing with it, knowing it will be soon when I will be on my own.

Today, I had to drive his car because it was in the shop and I saw a TRIGGER. You see, when him and the OW (other women) were together, I would find bottles of energy drinks in the house. She must like those. Haven’t see any energy drinks since, BUT found several in his car today. Along with the fact that he is constantly in the basement of our house having conversations and I proceeded to find an energy drink in the refrigerator (kinda hidden), he is seeing her again..

Now even though I have told my husband several times it is over, I still got a little pit in my stomach, just because I feel like at this point, do you really have to continue to lie and be so sneaky?? Also, it makes me mad that he is still seeing her, but wants to control and make sure I don’t have any support in my life. Also the constant lying to my face kills me.

Anyways, my initial reaction was to wait for him to come home and blast him with the news that I knew what is going on, call him a liar, and tell him if he wants to sleep around, then leave me alone and stop trying to question my every move!! I wanted to tell him I knew he has been lying and that I am so glad I am getting divorced to such a compulsive liar. And then I realized….what good is that going to do? All it will do is get me worked up, and at the end of the day, do I really care – NO. I am moving on. So what did I end up saying to my cheating husband, nothing. I didn’t bring it up at all. I just continue my search for housing, because I know that being in the same house with a person that is constantly lying to me is bad energy for me.

The fact that I did not do anything represents a change in me and my attitude, it represents the fact that I am moving on, and that I have the confidence to know and choose my battles. I am finally starting to realize that I don’t have to stoop to his level – at all, unless I choose. It’s taking me a long time to get here, and I still have a long way to go, but this was definitley a day that I will look back on, and smile with pride. For those of you that just found out your partner cheated, you may not understand this post, but for those that are advanced in their recovery, you know how significant this is!

Good night Ladies!!

Husband had an affair and you need some encouragement?

Jewels — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:53:41 +0000

My husband cheated. It was his action, not mine. He decided to go outside the marriage. There is no excuse, he had many other options, but he choose the option which has left me hurt, but not depressed, disappointed, but not defeated, weak, but not empty. I am a women that is a survivor. I know that everything that happens in life has a purpose of teaching me a lesson that will help me be a better person in the long run. My husband’s cheating will not defeat me. I am too strong, too smart, and have too much going for me to let this situation become ‘me’. I have a long road ahead but I will get on the road, I will not be a passenger in life due to my circumstances. I will get on the high road, I will survive, and I will recovery. And years from now when I look back at this moment, I will hold my head up high and say – Wow, look how I far I have come – I survived.

Good night ladies – stay strong!!

Jenny Sanford (South Carolina’s first lady) | A TRUE Cheating Spouse Recovery women

Jewels — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 05:03:36 +0000

I had the great opportunity to watch the Barbara Walter’s special on ABC. Surprisingly, two of the women are women who have go through the pain of a cheating husband. Kate Gosselin and Jenny Sanford. I really enjoyed Jenny Sanford’s interview. She had such strong conviction in the way she felt, and her confidence was something that should be an example for all of us in our journey.

Jenny’s husband was the one who was cheating on Jenny with some girl from Argentina. After Jenny found out (and before it got out to the press), Jenny moved herself and her 4 kids out. She told her husband not to contact her or the kids for 30 days. She was thinking that her cheating husband would come to his senses and see what he had to lose. Unfortunately, he still didn’t get it. At that point, she moved out for good and has never looked backed. While most famous women or women in political positions stand by their man during public appearances after the affair, she didn’t. She was moving on. The BEST thing that she said in the entire interview is this “Certainly his actions hurt me, and they caused consequences for me, but they don’t in any way take away my own self-esteem. They reflect poorly on him,” WOW…..that was a powerful statement. If we could all bounce back with that attitude after our spouses cheated the world would be a better place!! I think each woman’s journey is different. For me, I don’t think I am there yet, BUT I will get there. And you will too. If your having a bad day or need a pick me up, just listen to the strength of Jenny in your interview, and you will instantly feel better. Good night ladies, have a great weekend!!

3 bold step towards your passion, not your cheating husband

Jewels — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:19:28 +0000

Hello Everyone,I wanted to talk today about 3 things you can do to make a step towards your passion and away from the affair. It is actually interesting, when my husband cheated, I was SO pissed off because I put my dreams and aspirations on hold for him. How many times do we do this ladies. “Oh I will have the kids, get my life in order, work out my relationship, and then after all of that, make time for me.” Well infidelity can certainly shock someone into realization that the time when you think ‘everything will be together’ might not ever come. So it’s time to look at yourself and start taking some action towards your dreams. Here are some things you can do.

1.) Tell your husband that you need a day to yourself and go to the bookstore or library. Your objective is to find something that your passionate about, and start reading about it. Anything from magazines to how to books. This will really get your energy going because things that you are passionate about put you in a good place mentally, and less in a place where you are thinking about the affair.

2.)Talk to your girlfriends about your passion or hobby. There is nothing like a good girlfriend that can brainstorm your passion area and provide ideas on how you can expand on your passion. It is fun, and stimulates your mind, so again, tell Mr. Cheater that you want to meet up with your girlfriend and have fun.

3.)Write out a list of things in how you can bring your passion more to your everyday life. For some people it is just a matter of writing it down that open’s there mind to the possibilities.

I know it’s hard because the fact that your cheating husband consumes your mind like crazy. But if you follow through on at least one of my suggestions, I promise you it will put a smile on your face during this rough time. Stay strong, till next time.