Cheating Husbands - YOU ARE NOT ALONE » kids http://www.acheatinghusband.com Post Affair Recovery Site for wives who have been through the painful situation of a cheating husband Sun, 05 Sep 2010 03:18:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Cheating Husband and Mom – THANK YOU (to the moms)!! http://www.acheatinghusband.com/cheating-husband-and-mom-thank-you-to-the-moms/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/cheating-husband-and-mom-thank-you-to-the-moms/#comments Sun, 09 May 2010 16:52:39 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=248 Today is mother’s day, I would like to say Happy Mother’s Day to all, but especially to those mom’s that also have husband’s who cheated/cheat. There are so many situations that add additional dynamics to cheating, and having kids is one of them (And since it is mother’s day, I will talk this one). There were times where I wanted to go away for a couple of days just to think, but when you have kids, that is really difficult to do. Your kids don’t understand why you are upset, and oftentimes wonder what they did wrong. If you have older kids, do they know? What do you say? Do you stay together or leave? And if you have kids, when do you have time to work on rebuilding the marriage an rebuilding yourself??

At the end of the day, we have to love and raise our kids, no matter what is going on. It is an unselfish love that a mother knows well. And I know there are tons of moms who experienced their husband cheating, and put their own feelings aside in front of the kids in order to put a smile on their face – for all the women who do that – thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!! If no one said that they appreciate you – I DO!!

-Jewels

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/cheating-husband-and-mom-thank-you-to-the-moms/feed/ 0 Kids and Cheating just don’t mix! http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids-and-cheating-just-dont-mix/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids-and-cheating-just-dont-mix/#comments Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:31:18 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=215 When you have young kids in such an environment of pain and sadness caused by cheating, it is really hard.  Sometimes I find myself getting way to frustrated at my kids, and really I am frustrated with my own situation.  Kids are so young and innocent, they don’t know such a pain, so it is hard for them to understand.  So you try to put on a fake smile and a fake laugh so that they won’t worry.  You try to sing songs and tickle them and play with them so they won’t be able to tell what is going on. But kids somehow know!!  They know when me and my cheating husband are arguing, even though we think we hide it well.  The kids know when I am upset, even thought I smile right in front of them.  They will say things that make you feel really bad like  “I want mommy and daddy to go’ or ‘can we all go together as a family’.  I can think about these things but I can’t stress over it because I have to make the decision that is in her best interest, regardless of what the kids think.  I really hope that one day both of my kids grow up having good relationship with both of the parents, even if we are apart.  That’s all for now – I wish the best for you!

**By the way, my new eBook is finally available, sign up to receive it, start reading it and let me know your thoughts!!

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids-and-cheating-just-dont-mix/feed/ 0 Is my cheating spouse worth the help?? http://www.acheatinghusband.com/is-my-cheating-spouse-worth-the-help/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/is-my-cheating-spouse-worth-the-help/#comments Wed, 16 Dec 2009 02:14:46 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=148 I am a little frustrated today with the affair.  I know I have to eventually make a decision about my cheating spouse and I am in denial, trying not to think about it, but it keeps popping up.  As you know, me and husband still live in the same house.  I really want to be a family, I see how much it means to our kids, and I don’t want to hurt them.  In the back of my mind I know that me and my cheating husband can’t live like this.  Can’t me and my cheating spouse just be roomates and live in the same house?  I know that is not possible.  My husband annoys the hell out of me and does things that piss me off.  So why do I stay.  For the kids, it is better financially, and lastly, my husband is a helper.  He actually will change diapers, feed the kids dinner, ect.  I don’t want to lose my help!!!  At the same time, like my girlfriend said, I have to make a choice and see if the ‘help’ is work the frustration he causes.  For instance, my husband tries at time to be affectionate.  NOOOO….that really angers me because he thinks we can just kiss and make up and doesn’t understand why I am rejecting him?  Get a clue – how can I be affectionate when you anger me?  My husband also  still tries to monitor my activities, his little cheating behind is thinking that I am going to cheat – that is his problem, not mine.  But every time I go somewhere, he makes and issue of it…NOOOO….  Ladies, I know I can not live like this.  I feel like I am sacrificing myself for the kids and slowly killing myself in the process, I just wish I could wish it away, but I can’t.  I know one thing for sure, things will get better, I will get stronger, and I will recover.

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/is-my-cheating-spouse-worth-the-help/feed/ 4 Childhood upbringing and My Cheating Spouse – The connection http://www.acheatinghusband.com/childhood-upbringing-and-my-cheating-spouse-the-connection/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/childhood-upbringing-and-my-cheating-spouse-the-connection/#comments Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:46:01 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=90 Hello Ladies,

I was reading a book today called Toddler 411 because I can’t control my 3 year old daughter.  One thing that they mentioned really made me think about my cheating spouse and my past relationships.  The author stated that it is not really ideal to be raised in an environment where the parents call all the shots.  The old ‘do it because I said so’ and ‘if you don’t do what I say, I will make you via spanking, ect’.  I am the parent and I should have total control.  Well this author stated that the reason that it is not ideal to raise kids in that manner is that they end up having bad self esteem and bad relationships.  Now I have hear the self esteem one before, but I never thought my childhood upbringing had anything to do with bad relationships!!

I had parents like I stated above.  I have no bitterness towards them for that, it is VERY hard to raise kids and the fact that I am fairly functional is great.  What is interesting is that most of my relationships (past and present) have been pretty bad.  My 2 long term relationships were Mr. Physically Abusive (yes, I would have to create another blog to explain that one) and now this relationship/marriage, called Mr. Cheating Husband.  I ask myself why?  Why do I get involved with men that end up not treating me right at all?  I don’t know the answer to that.  While it would be great to put all the blame on my parents, I will not.  I think it may have something to do with it, which is interesting.  If anything it encourages me to be more mindful of how I raise my daughter in hopes that in some small, small way, I teach her not to fall into the exact same traps that I have fell into.  That’s all for now, have a great week!!

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/childhood-upbringing-and-my-cheating-spouse-the-connection/feed/ 0 Being a Single Parent http://www.acheatinghusband.com/being-a-single-parent/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/being-a-single-parent/#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:00:53 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=49 I am really, really dreading being a single parent.  Yes, my husband cheated, and I still can’t get over it, but the thought of raising two kids on my own is scary.  You see, I am not one of these ‘good moms’.  I have to give it up to all of those stay at home moms that day in and day out take care of their kids.  I don’t have that skill set.  I didn’t realize how hard being a parent can be.  It never ends.  And for me in particular, I am always feeling like a bad mom.  I work during the day, come home, cook, take bathes and then bed. Not much time to do anything else.  So it is about 2-3 hours of interaction before bed.  And I go to bed so irritated!!  Mostly because my 3 year old will not go to bed smoothly, it is always a fight.  I don’t want to fight anymore!  But then I feel bad, I only spent a couple of hours with her, why should I be this irritated.  I can’t get control of her.  She raises her voice and wants things her way.  I try spanking, time out, yelling, and it doesn’t seem to work.  I know I need to be more consistent with my approach, but it is hard.  To all those moms (especially single moms) that have their kid disciplined and listening to them by age 3 – CHEERS TO YOU, GIVE ME ADVICE PLEASE.  Not that is just current state.  The thought of doing all of that alone is almost terrifying to me!!  I know that is not an excuse to have him stay but man, it is an overwhelming feeling to think that I might have to do it alone.  Ladies, I do have a man that wants to be very active in our kids lives, so technically, I won’t be alone, but you know what I am trying to say.  It’s time for me to say goodnight…till next time….

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/being-a-single-parent/feed/ 0 Kids http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids/ http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids/#comments Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:55:34 +0000 Jewels http://www.acheatinghusband.com/?p=24 So last night, my 3 year old spent the night with her cousin.  Around 11pm I got a call from my sister in law, it was my daughter, crying that she wanted mommy and daddy.  It made me think about how divorce works, when families split apart, do kids cry at night for the other parent?

]]> http://www.acheatinghusband.com/kids/feed/ 0