Marriage is really tough when you find out your husband has cheated.  The reason why is that you and your husband are so vested.  You typically put in a year’s worth of time and effort just to get married.  You typically spend a good deal of money with the wedding.  You probably have joint bills that you can not pay alone.  If your dating, you can just leave.  If your living with someone, it is harder, but once that lease is up, you can leave. When your married – it takes soo long to leave, and here is why.

1. It’s costs a ton of money to get a divorce.  If you get a lawyer involved, it is 2500 off the top, and that is cheap.  Because you probably don’t trust your cheating husband anyway, most times women need to get a lawyer.  Who can afford that these days – this causes delay

2.Once you get a lawyer, you have to meet, get paperwork, figure out who is going to get what.  Who has time for that?  It is such a daunting task, you delay it because of the mental stress it is going to cause.

3. As women, you are faced with a tough dilemma, stay miserable, but have a few more dollars in your pocket, or go out on your own, potentially be happy, but be totally broke.  Again, it is just hard to think about mentally – so you delay your decision.

4. With marriage, you can’t just leave, it is a legal binding document.  So times where I just wanted to move away and forget about the marriage, that legal doc feels like jail!!

Because of the fact that you hang around for much longer after you mentally have left the relationship, that is where things get nasty.

I just wanted to share this perspective because I don’t think everyone understands what a women has to go through in making such a tough decision.  I hope me and my husband can come to an civil agreement, but sometimes I think I am staying at the house and as each day goes by, the relationship and friendship gets worse and worse.  Till next time ladies!!

-Jewels

“the divorce was the most painful loss he’s ever endured.”  Then he goes on to say that he could of made it work.

I really enjoy hearing about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith relationship.  It seems like they are really grounded and I hope that nothing comes in the way of their union.  Will Smith recently said in an interview that he could of made his 1^st marriage work.  He stated…..

“the divorce was the most painful loss he’s ever endured.”  Then he goes on to say that he could of made it work.

This makes me think.  Finding out your husband has cheating is very, very painful.  If I decide not to be with my husband, it is like round II as far as pain?  It is probably very refreshing for Will’s first wife to hear that he could of made it work, basically admitting some fault.

As far as me, I still don’t know what the heck to do.  Some day’s it is so much easier with both of us here.  At the same time, we don’t know how to work on things, and he still puts working on the relationship in my court only, which is a bunch of crap.  In either event, I am going to come out on top as far as learning from this experience, it is the only thing that keeps me sane.  I really like the fact that Will Smith with his new wife says that they are going to be together no matter what, I have heard him say that several times that divorce is not an option.  I wish I had that much strength to be the same…..