After the Affair – Time to Move Out of the House

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In the next two weeks, I am moving out of my house into an apartment. My mom and sister are flying into town tomorrow to help me move later this week. The whole thing is really bittersweet, especially because I have kids. I know they are going to be really confused in the coming months because they won’t understand why mommy has another place to stay. But at the same time, I feel I need to do this. Both I and my husband need to heal, and being under the same roof really prevents both parties from recovering and moving on.

At this point in time, my husband and I are in a good place. We are able to talk to each other about the move, the kids, the impact it’s going to have on them, etc. without fighting. I am not sure how or if the dynamics will change after I move, but I am hoping for the best.

Ultimately, that’s what we all have to do, no matter what. Stay positive and motivated.

  • raynejasper November 12, 2010, 9:31 PM

    Jewels,
    How are you right now? Are you settled in your new house already? Your story will serve as a learning experience for me. I’m following your lead. I’m trying to be strong and motivated though my daughter. Right now, I just wanna do things that would help me and my daughter. I want to get out of our house also but need to save enough for me to start a new life. I don’t have savings because I’m in charge of all the house expenses. I do my best not to cry again. I just can’t help sometimes. I feel so sad but I’m trying to cheer up and brighten my day. After all, as you’ve said, we will all overcome this situation and we will be happy again one day. Let’s take it one day at a time.

    • Jewels November 12, 2010, 10:24 PM

      Thanks so much for asking. Today is the first weekend my son and daughter are staying at my new apartment. We haven’t figure out custody arrangements yet. One thing that I think really helped is that we started introducing ‘days’ to our kids before I moved out. So Mon/Wed were my days (with the kids) and Tues/Thurs were his days with the kids. We did this for at least 4 months prior and it was really beneficial for all parties involved. It gave me time to think, which is hard to do with kids.

      I was in the same situation as far as money. I made some sacrifices that are going to cost me in the long run, and I have accepted the responsibility and the impact to my credit, etc. But I also realize it’s not the end of the world. I started saving about a year ago, especially during tax return season. I was lucky enough to save enough to move out. I also borrowed from my 401k. I also allowed my family to help me move, which is huge for me, I usually don’t feel comfortable letting family help me in that way, but they were more than willing and I am so thankful, because of them I was able to get new furniture. We haven’t got a divorce yet (lol…I gotta start saving for that as well, it’s expensive!!), but I know I will get there. Everything is not perfect, but I am happy and at peace, and very thankful that I was able to move out, when the thought of moving out almost seemed impossible (financially) a year ago!!

  • raynejasper November 14, 2010, 6:18 PM

    Hi Jewels,

    That’s really nice to hear. You’ve been through a situation I’m having right now. I would really like to move out of the house but I need to save money. With your experience, I knew then that I can survive too. Life is hard but we have God. I know He will always be there for us. May God grant us more courage and strength to move forward.

    • Jewels November 14, 2010, 9:51 PM

      Thanks Raynejasper,

      You will get there, just keep saving and keep your eye on the goal. You can do this, and you’re right, faith is needed to give us strength and courage. Take Care.

  • raynejasper November 14, 2010, 10:38 PM

    Dear Jewels,

    Thank you so much. You’re such a great help. Should it be possible for all of us to meet together, I think things will be more easier but its okay. Through this site, we can really inspire each other. Thank you really. You’re a blessing.

  • Jewels November 15, 2010, 10:01 PM

    Thank you Raynejasper, as I am a blessing to you, you are a blessing to me as well.

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