After the affair, something changed in how I look at work. The BS that I (and everyone else) has to deal with at work seems to get on my nerves a little more. There is something positive in my frustrations with the BS at work, every time I have a day like this where something makes me so upset that I can’t get it out of my mind, it makes me think about what type of work I really should be doing. It’s never too late to change careers, never. I think this affair that my cheating husband decided to have caused me to rethink everything, even my career. Your job can cheat on you as well. It goes something like this. You work at a job for 15 years, and you work hard and put a lot of effort into making sure the company does well. Then in a moment’s notice, you’re laid off. Fortunately, this hasn’t happened to me, but I got to believe that those people feel cheated on in some way or form. And in the back of my mind, I think that I don’t want to be cheated on again, not by a person, a company, or anybody. So I guess I need to figure out what I need to do with the rest of my life, because judging from the day I had, it is not what I am doing now. Sometimes, our frustration with situations are signs for change, we will see what the future holds.
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It will be a year in November since I found out about my husbands affair. It turned my life upside down. I’ve never felt pain like that in my life..the closest pain I can compare is the miscarriage of our first born years ago. Everything I felt,believe and thought slipped from under me and I didn’t know what to think. We have since reconciled and renewed our marriage vows. I still can’t believe what kind of woman will knowingly sleep with a married man. I found out my husbands other woman was Andrea an old high school friend who he ran into at a restaurant. She knew he was married and dud not hesitate to pursue him. Granted my husband is most at fault because he was the one married but as a woman I would think one would have some self respect. I learned that she is a never been married single mother who lives with her mother because she can’t afford to live on her own. She does not have a career and heard she was going back to school to be a teacher..my profession! She is even older than me and not very attractive according to the people that saw her Facebook profile. I realize she is a desperate, immature,woman who lacks self esteem and is eager to get married. ( I know this cuz I found an old phone my husband had and SHE asked him to marry her about 3 months into the affair)add delusional to my description of her. I found out when I saw a desperate text from her on my husbands phone. In it she was telling him that he wasn’t returning her calls,that she wondered if she was ever going to see him, if he cared. Saying she was going to commit suicide. Add crazy to the description of Andrea.That made me think he was honest when he said he
was trying to end it with her. I have never written what happened down . It feels somewhat deliberating. It’s been a long hard road after betrayal but he’s bending over backward to show how sorry and stupid he was to have an affair with this poor excuse for a woman.
Hello Sonia,
I have a hard time understanding it as well. I personally feel that like you said, women with low self-esteem that can not get a man fully try very hard to get a part of our husbands. And while I do agree that the husband is ultimatley at fault, it’s a shame that we have women so willing to have affairs. My friend Toni described it as woman on woman crime.
Dealing with the affair has been the most difficult pain I have ever went through as well.It’s so hard to describe unless you have been through it. I am glad that you and your husband made it and I wish you many more years of success in your marriage, it’s good that he is sorry for what he did.
Thank you . As you said only one who has experienced this will know the pain it brings. Today is the firts year anniversary of the day I found out. I decided to take the day off work to create new memories with my husband…It’s been a very hard year…sometimes I wonder will I ever get over it…I don’t cry anymore or think about it as much but it’s always there in one corner of my mind.