Cheating Husbands – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Dealing with your husband cheating is like going on a roller coaster with your emotions. Things do get better with time. With that said, there is something called emotional triggers that will take place. An emotional trigger is something that brings back memories of the affair and sometimes takes you back to that place where your feeling pretty down. Of course the triggers are worse in the beginning, but even years after the affair, something that can happen that can trigger your emotions. I am a big believer in feeling that when you know something, it helps you deal with it better. I still get triggers from time to time, but because I know what they are, I can deal with it in a positive manner. Below are some common triggers after the after.

1. A ‘tell-tell’ sign of the affair – relived. I give you a personal example. My husband changed his hours at work while he was having the affair. Not sure if he initiated the work hour change or his job, but nevertheless he worked different hours, which helped him be with her more. He went back to his normal schedule, but then told me the job said he had to change it again. That is when the trigger started. I got a pit in my stomach because it took me back to that place when I found out of the affair. Even though we are separated, that triggered my emotions because I associated his schedule as a ‘tell-tell’ sign of the affair.

2. Weddings/love stories/love songs – big triggers. They sometimes can remind you of the love that you and your husband had prior to the affair, or remind you of the love you no longer have.

3. Your husband – your cheating husband can be a trigger. When you get into an argument, that could be a trigger because you will associate the pain of the argument with the pain of the affair.

4. Other people asking you about the relationship. When friends say ‘How are you and your husband doing?’ It could remind you of the affair and trigger some emotions.

5. Kids (if you have them). Sometimes kids say things that just break your heart. They might (might not) know that your husband cheated, but they might say something like ‘I really love our family and spending time together’. That really hurts and causing you to think about the future and the thought of not being a family anymore, which produces an emotional trigger.

After the affair, triggers will happen from time to time. Understand and treat them as just a trigger. Don’t let it take over your day or your life. Give yourself a set amount of time to feel it, and then release it. Till next time ladies!!!