Cheating Husbands – YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I recently read an interesting article that listed out in a nice format some statistics about cheating. You can view the information by using the link at the bottom of this post.

The statistic that stood out stated that the majority of affairs are ones that are with ‘friends’.

I think as humans we think that we can control ourselves around ‘friends’ of the opposite sex, but the statistics are showing that we can’t. There is an ongoing debate around this. Some people feel when your married you should not have close ‘friends’ of the opposite sex. Some feel that by making such a statement (no friends of the opposite sex), it calls for a controlling marriage.

The cheating with a friend plays consistently every time. Here is how is goes.

Man falls in love and marries women (wife). Husband and wife live together and it is not what hubby expected. Husband starts to either increase existing friendships with other women or creates new ones. Man thinks he can control himself. Husband has argument with wife, calls ‘friend’. ‘Friend’ sides with husband. Husband likes ‘friend’ even more. Another argument with wife, more (visits, phone calls, texts, or online chats) from friend. Husband starts to fantasize about ‘friend’. Husband or ‘friend’ makes an advance, and the rest is his story.

Before my husband cheated, we agreed not to have any close friends of the opposite sex. I kept my end of the deal, but when the relationship hit a rough patch, he didn’t keep his end of the deal.

I am really torn with this debate over marriage and friends of the opposite sex. Part of me thinks that when your married, you really should not have ‘friends’ from the opposite sex because the minute you hit a marriage problem, by talking to your ‘friend’ (who happens to be a single women 10 years younger) your literally planting the seeds because this is how most affairs start.

At the same time, I don’t agree that married couples should not engage at all and have ‘friends’. I think I am torn because I deep down don’t believe in having close friends of the opposite sex, but I think that same ideal came back to bite me. The reason I say that is when I found out my husband cheating, I had no ‘friend’ to talk with. Over the course of time that we have been married, I sort of isolated myself, and I regret that.

I do think there is a balance that works, lucky for me after this experience I plan to be single for a while so I will have plenty of time to find the balance that works for me. Enjoy and take care!!

Link with the statistics: Cheating Statistics