I too, was once married it didn’t work out because I chose to leave. I cheated on him because I wasn’t happy and there were no form of establishment or foundation. I said to him, I don’t want to hurt you, so it is over. I haven’t heard from him since 2008. He remarried and has a stepson so all is well I hope. I felt I did the right thing because as a human being he didn’t deserve that. So before him I was in abusive relationships I think we all are in a cycle and need to break from it and stop living up to the ‘American system’. It is not the “American dream” but more of an “American Nightmare”. It leads to stressful situations. We were all taught as young girls, “play with dollies have a make believe toy kitchen because that’s what you’ll be doing when you grow up”. And ever notice when we were little girls boys always played outside, wild no ‘set of rules’ for them? And why is it they are not as emotional? Because they’re taught to be tough, not feminine. And to be with as many women as possible and not to hold down one woman but as many and get a “fort” and it is yours, or, “learn how to conquer” boys have toy guns which is meant for military. So America is sending out a message. Women procreate stay at home, men go out military or military jobs such as police and sleep with women who are “disadvantaged” aka don’t follow the” American system”. The American System consist of, going to school, graduating and getting married and having a governmental career then having lots of money to support yourself. That is what capitalism is all about. Nowadays women are encouraged to work but in clerical, office work positions and making books for other women to read so they too, can do the same work. And men will always be in charge of all big major companies. Very few women are in ceo positions of companies. So the problem isn’t just at home ladies. It is global. So, what do you do now? You think America really cares about your problems? Oh right, they have therapist, psychologist, Priest..etc…but aren’t they too, brainwashed to fit into the American system?

I think there is some real truth to what your saying, BUT it’s a hard pill for me and many women to swallow because we were told our whole lives to get married, have kids, ect. No one told us about this sexual nature and cheating thing. And I really think that men play into marriage as well, telling us they want to be married, they play the game as well. I just don’t get it, why can’t people just be upfront and say, I love you, but I am a man, and I am going to desire more than you. Instead, they string us along telling us not to cheat while they cheat. I like your last line of building your own nest. I can’t even think of ever getting married again, but next time around, the relationship might not be exactly like what your describing, but it will be on MY terms, and I will make sure I am satisfied. That is the one thing this experience has taught me, to be empowered and not depend on anyone for that, but myself. Take Care.